Funniest Game Quotes

[sarah*rose]

Since there's a thread on the topic of movie quotes, I thought it would be a good idea for game quotes as well!

I personally love the No One Lives Forever series, and there are so many great conversations to listen in on!

This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLF4WA2buoI) is quite amusing, and not something you can easily quote in text. ;)

From NOLF 1:

HARM Henchman #1: This food is terrible!
HARM Henchman #2: The potato salad isn't bad.
HARM Henchman #1: It's not potato salad, it's cottage cheese!
HARM Henchman #2: [Retching sound]

Street Merchant: You look like you need a monkey.
HARM Agent: Excuse me?
Street Merchant: I have a very fine monkey for you. Only twenty dollars, American.
HARM Agent: Sorry, I don't want a monkey.
Street Merchant: What do you mean?
HARM Agent: I don't want a monkey!
Street Merchant: Why not?
HARM Agent: Because I don't like monkeys, now get that filthy beast away from me!
Street Merchant: Are you insulting my monkey?
HARM Agent: I'm sure it's a perfectly excellent monkey, but I don't want it. Now please leave, I'm very busy.
Street Merchant: Ten dollars.
HARM Agent: No! I wouldn't want the dreadful thing even if it were free!
Street Merchant: Free? You want my children to starve?
HARM Agent: If they're hungry, I suggest you feed them the monkey.
Street Merchant: This is a valuable monkey! My wife would kill me if she knew I was offering it to you so cheap.
HARM Agent: You don't seem to understand, I DON'T WANT A MONKEY!
Street Merchant: Infidel.

Man: I wouldn't give you a rotten fig for that disgusting animal.
Street Merchant: Are you insulting my monkey?
Man: I spit upon your monkey!
Street Merchant: You are a horrible person!
Woman: I think the monkey's kinda cute.

Sailor: [Over intercom] Abandon ship, abandon ship!
Sailor #1: Did he say 'ship', or 'sheep'?
Sailor #2: Ship I think, why?
Sailor #1: Uh, no reason.

So what are your favourite quotes from games?

[Helmasaur]

From Mario and Luigi:
Fawful: And it will be the mustard of your DOOM
_______
Midbus: And you trash. Ha! I just called you trash like a trashy trash.

[Dozo]

Spyro: A New Beginning

Spyro: [about Cynder] But if we come from the same place, why is she so, so...
Sparx: Evil? Monstrous? Big? Sexy? Oops, did I just say that?

Sparx: I bet you can't ring that bell.
Spyro: Why would I want to?
Sparx: Oh, you're scared!
Spyro: I'm not scared.
Sparx: Oh, the big special dragon is scared of the mean old bell. Oh, I didn't know, I'm sorry, oh no, I'm sorry baby, why don't I get your pillow all laid out.
[Spyro rings the bell, causing it to collaps on top of him]
Sparx: SPYRO! Can you hear me? Are you okay, buddy? Hey listen, forget about those cracks I made about your fatness and your... being purple and stupid and fat, all right? Just get out of there! Please, Spyro, don't be dead!
[the bell breaks open revealing Spyro is perfectly fine]
Spyro: Did you say something?
Sparx: Me? No, no, I was talking out loud, thinking of my day, I gotta do...
Spyro: Oh, just thought I heard soemthing before I blasted my way out.
Sparx: Oh, that's funny. Yeah, no, must be hearing things.

[Zela]

Neverwinter Nights-

Player: Feel my wrath!

and

Player: What?!? Poison?

[VladCrau]

Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
Duke Nukem: Life is like a box of ammo...

[please_dont_crash_my_game]

Pretty much all of GLaDOS's lines in Portal.

"Place the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube on the Aperture Science 1500-megawatt supercolliding superbutton."

[perihelion]

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories:

LCFR Caller: Hey, Nurse, it's getting worse!

Toni: Was that your mother on the phone?
Vincenzo: Yeah, so what?
Toni: You're disgusting. Where's your respect?

[best4bond]

Portal:

GlaDOS:Remember that time we tried to kill you by putting you in fire and you were like NO WAY? That was great.

[midnightmonkey28]

This is off True Crime Streets Of LA

Some times when Nick Kang (the person you play) steals a car he says "Hi my name is Nick Kang and i'll be your carjacker today" :lol: :rofl:

[Axe Gaijin]

Funny, quotes? easy... everything ever said in a Lucas Arts adventure :)

[ElPresidente]

Except The Dig

(It was LucasArts only serious adventure game :P)

[HereToRipStuff]

Hmm..

" We must defeat the dwarfs!
Ugh.. we ARE the dwarfs.
Oh.. "

Mortar team, Warcraft III

[chann]

I SPILL MY DRINK! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-tzs47o33A)

[shelly_pot_belly]

The End of Oddworld: Exodus
Chef with french accent: But we had twice ze flavour!

Dragon Age: Origins
Sten Grrrr!
War Dog: Grrrrr!
Sten: Grrrrrrrr!!
War Dog: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
Sten: You are indeed a formidable warrior

[shelly_pot_belly]

Oh! Wait! I thought of more!

Dragon Age: Origins
Shale is a golem found in a village as part of a special downloadable side-quest.
Shale: oh it found new crystals. Do they make me look wide? I often worry that I'm too wide.
Vahera: No, they're very slimming.
Shale: It must be the verticle pattern it put them in. Did it know to do that?

Sten: You cannot group a people into simple descriptions, such as the Elves are a lithe, pointy eared people who excel at poverty


Alistair: Were you really locked up in that cage for twenty days?
Sten: It may have been more like thirty. I stopped counting after a while.
Alistair: What did you do? Twenty days is a long time.
Sten: On good days, I posed riddles to passers-by, offering treasures for the correct answers.
Alistair: Really?
Sten: No.

Bet you can't guess what game I've been playing lately :P

[please_dont_crash_my_game]

Many quotes from Team Fortress 2 are hilarious.

Heavy: Entire team, is babies!

Scout: *hits someone with a baseball bat* Bonk!

[Axe Gaijin]

Oh! Wait! I thought of more!

Dragon Age: Origins
Shale is a golem found in a village as part of a special downloadable side-quest.
Shale: oh it found new crystals. Do they make me look wide? I often worry that I'm too wide.
Vahera: No, they're very slimming.
Shale: It must be the verticle pattern it put them in. Did it know to do that?

Sten: You cannot group a people into simple descriptions, such as the Elves are a lithe, pointy eared people who excel at poverty


Alistair: Were you really locked up in that cage for twenty days?
Sten: It may have been more like thirty. I stopped counting after a while.
Alistair: What did you do? Twenty days is a long time.
Sten: On good days, I posed riddles to passers-by, offering treasures for the correct answers.
Alistair: Really?
Sten: No.

Bet you can't guess what game I've been playing lately :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcvFamGkYyk

[sfsix]

in red alert 2, when selecting a detonating unit called crazy ivan:
[after selecting where to send him] I lost a bomb, do you have it?

suicide truck bomb unit
"Why don't YOU drive?!"
"one way trip!"

Psychic Troopers
"Look ma! No hands!"

conscript:
"mommy!"
<cry>

[HereToRipStuff]

in red alert 2, when selecting a detonating unit called crazy ivan:
[after selecting where to send him] I lost a bomb, do you have it?

suicide truck bomb unit
"Why don't YOU drive?!"
"one way trip!"

Psychic Troopers
"Look ma! No hands!"

conscript:
"mommy!"
<cry>

Goooodie! (RA2 Yuri's revenge, brute)

[VladCrau]

RA2: Yuri's Revenge
Yuri's slaves: Can I have a potty break?

[joof]

From Ace Attorney Investigations:
(If you examine a window)
Miles Edgeworth: Oh no! My eyes locked with my reflection's! As a student of Von Karma, I must not back down! (short pause) .....I won.

[pwn]

Pokemon on da DS
Giratina (translated):
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You:
o.O
Your bag:
Gira...! Oh, a platinum nugget!
Giratina (translated):
o.O ASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You:
OMG! MAI EARS!
Yo shoe:
OMG! A PEBBLE!
Giratina (trans..., Oh, forget it!)
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You:
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M DEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rikachu]

Left 4 Dead 2
Ellis: Holy shit guys, kiddie land!

[PharaohHound]

Psychonauts:

Razputin: Wait, so why did the censors attack me in my own mind? Don't I belong there?
Sasha: Perhaps there is something wrong with the Brain Tumbler. Or you could be insane, but we'll run tests on that later.

Den Mother: I told you not to follow. Now YOU MUST DIE!
Razputin: But--!
Den Mother: THAT IS THE WAY OF THE RAINBOW SQUIRTS!

Raz: I am baking a pie.
"Pie-Making Wife" G-Man: When my husband drinks excessively, I use this rolling pin to beat him, but we are still very much in love.

Carpenter: Go away, burglar!
Raz: I'm not a burglar!
Carpenter: Yes you are! I can hear your feet on my roof. Why don't you go down through the chimney? I've got a nice, hot fire roaring just for you.
Raz: If I was on the roof, how could I be talking to you down here?
Carpenter: Maybe you're a ventriloquist!

:rofl:

[Undercovers_Agent]

I can't remember what game this is from but if you pressed the questionmark key your player would go "You suck!" Was it Duke Nukem? I don't remember.

[nea200pl]

Everything HK-47 says in Star Wars: Knight Of The Old Republic and Star Wars: Knight Of The Old Republic - The Sith Lords. :rofl:

*Retraction: Did I say that out loud? While it is true you are a meatbag, I should refrain from addressing you as such.
Explanation: It's just that... you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea...*

*Objection: I am not a problem, meatbag. You and your lack of any organized repair skills are a problem.*

*Statement: Just a simple droid, here, ma'am. Nothing to see. Move along.*

*Mockery: Am I all right? Oh yes master, why I am fine. Statement: I mean, I have only just been re-activated, only to find that there are sub-standard duplicates of me running all over the galaxy, corroding my good name!*

*Statement: Master, I am no behavior droid but it is obvious to me that you have serious ethical problems that will need to be treated at some point.*

[noobkiller138]

Star wars republic commando

Scorch: how many kills you got today, psycho?
Sev: more than you, wiseguy

Scorch: (onboard CIS capital ship) the way these droids are swarming, one might think we weren't welcome.

Scorch: Lizards give me the creeps.
Sev: Ah, nothing like a jungle hunt. Waiting in the bushes, putting a plasma bolt through a cranium... makes me feel alive.
Scorch: okay, now Sev is giving me the creeps.

MOH airborne
Paratrooper 1: I need 2 on the left
Paratropper 2: Got it, taking the right...