Bullying.

[AngryBunny.]

This absolutely breaks my heart. (http://youtu.be/TdkNn3Ei-Lg)

I wish I could just reach through my screen and give Jonah a big hug. I am inspired by that boy. He's stronger than I will ever be. I can't imagine what he's going through. I was never really bullied as a kid. Sometimes I would crack jokes about the unpopular kids, which of course is something that I'm completely ashamed of now. I won't try to justify it because I know it was wrong, but I was so determined to have lots of friends that I didn't really think about how it could be affecting the people we were taunting. God, kids can be cruel. What's going on, indeed?

Have you had experiences with bullying? And why are schools so inept at dealing with it?

[Oaktree]

I was bullied a little bit, but it really wasn't as harsh as what some kids deal with. I was made fun of for my weight starting in 1st grade and it continued until high school. I would also occasionally have someone choose to do little annoying things, and in 2nd grade, there was a girl who would pretend to be my friend and then turn around and insult me right to my face. But I never got beat up, probably because I was bigger and stronger than most of my classmates for most of that time. While what happened did hurt, it wasn't systematic bullying like some kids deal with. For the most part, I didn't have any personal tormentors and I did have friends.

I wonder if part of why schools are bad at dealing with it is because a) the people who run them typically didn't have really bad experiences in school, because they might not want to work at a school if they did and b) wounds fade with time and the emotional beatdown of minor bullying tends to seem much less significant in adulthood. A lot of people seem to think that bullying is just something kids do. While I don't think the majority of bullying cases require legal action, they most certainly require the intervention of parents and teachers to make sure it stops.

[Orilon]

Because of clinical depression from the time I was 4, I didn't learn everything everybody else did about how to to act appropriately in different situations. I still struggle with that from time to time, and still make social mistakes quite frequently.

From the time I was in 1st grade through junior high, I was bullied because I was "different", every bully's favorite target. I went to private schools, and a lot of the time the schools didn't want to do anything about the bullying because the parents of the kids bullying me were rich and paid a lot of money: heaven forbid they "offend" their biggest donors by telling them that their child was a bully, or denial that the bullying happened: bullying happens in other school but not ours.

When I got to high school I went to a public high school and was left alone. I had a few friends, but I was appreciative of the fact that I wasn't bullied for being "different" and socially awkward.

[Lance]

I was being bullied for a about a year - somewhere around when I was 13-14 years old - but there was nothing I would *truly* suffer from, as the whole thing was mostly about bad jokes and insults and such. For me, the only *real* torture was they would try to take my things when I was not looking.
It did not go further than that because at the first attempt of physical violence I went berserk, took the chair I was sitting on and broke it on the spine of the bully. The chair had broken into pieces and my classmates were left with indelible impression of me being crazy and dangerous. Now, the chair was old and fragile and unsteady to begin with, but I was the only one who knew that. So, I guess I was saved from beatings by sheer luck.

I myself wasn't ever bullying anybody because.... because... I don't know why. I never wanted to. I prefer more refined entertainments - always did.

Schools don't want to deal with bullying - because it is normal kids' behavior. Any group of people has someone who's considered to be worse (different degrees for different groups, of course) and kids are just learning and trying out how to behave towards those who're "worse".
With that said, why parents aren't able to teach their children that physical violence is the line they should never cross, is beyond me.

[Robodl95]

I think that some school adults need more education about it, they don't take what kids say seriously enough or pass the blame to the victim. On the other hand there are a lot of caring adults at school that would definitely step up to help you. My english teacher said that it can be challenging to know whether to step in or not. Teens can say/do things that look a lot like bullying but they're actually best friends. Bullying mostly happens when no adults are present anyway like online, at lunch or in the hallways. Too many victims don't say anything.

[Phoeberg]

When Jonah started crying it broke my heart. :(

I was bullied for a year and a half when I was 14-15, partly by two girls who had been my best friends, but largely by some girls in the year above me, all because one of those best friends had said I'd done something I hadn't. They used to chase me around the school at lunchtime and block my way through doorways so I couldn't get away, they'd whisper things and then laugh and pull faces when they saw me in the hallways, and say all kinds of things about me, a lot of it online. I didn't even think about it as bullying for a long time even though it used to make me miserable and scared. I thought it would sound stupid if I told someone because they never really did anything physical so it wasn't as if I could point to something. all I could do was say that they made faces, whispered and chased me, which sounds kind of pathetic out loud, but is really intimidating when there are about six of them and just one of you. In the end I knocked on the English staffroom door when they were chasing me one day because the only way to make them go away was to make sure a teacher was around, and then I had to say something when my English teacher came to the door so I started crying and told the truth.

I don't think people really listen when teachers talk to them about bullying, and then the victim doesn't want to go to a teacher again when it didn't do anything but make things worse the first time.

[plumbobian]

I've been bullied alot. I'm 12 now and have been bullied since i was about 7. When I was younger it was just dumb things like "You look ugly" or something. That didn't bother me much then. but then when i turned 10 it got really bad. My mom had some medical issues and i got picked on for that. At one point this guy in my class told me to go die in the hospital with my mom. That really hurt. I was bullied even worse last year. From both girls and guys. i was friends with this girl and we had a fight and weren't friends anymore, She was kinda the "top of the food chain" in my class and turned every one except 3 people against me. I lost most of my friends but that really let me see their true colors y'know? Like they weren't true friends. And the same guy that made fun of me punched me a couple times, but i'm kinda tough so i punched him back and he never punched me again. He spat in my face once too, I didn't let him get away with that and i threw my water bottle at his face. :lol: I shouldn't fight back but i feel like i have too. But both of those people left the school and I'm in a 7/8 grade split thing so a guy in grade 8 bugs me a bit but i don't let it bother me.

The teachers did NOTHING to help me. AT ALL.

So thats my story.

[5M0K3]

I was bullied a LOT. In high school I was a minority group - (white-Asian) and everyone (who was either Mexican or black) thought I was some sort of escaped science experiment because of that. My parents were divorced, and my I lived with my mom (my older brothers lived with my dad, and my older sister was in college) and she was always at work, so kids would follow me home and beat me up. (they robbed me once, that really "boiled the pot") And just like Plumbobian, the teachers did NOTHING.

At my high school graduation a kid threw something at my face (I think it was a pencil or something kinda sharp) and it made me bleed. When my older brother - who was 20 at the time - saw that, he beat that kid UP! (then his family started yelling at my family and the school asked us to leave the graduation ceremony)

The funny thing is, I ended up working with one of my bullies (at my old job). I was higher up on the scale than him, and good friends with our boss, so I frequently messed with him about "You're not DOING IT RIGHT!!" and "No! That is NOT - UGH! Just get out of my FACE!!" But he beat me up 15 years ago so he had it comin'. :giggler:

[DrowningFishy]

I was bullied and I blame myself for getting bullied in the first place. I was a timid kid, still have trouble being timid, and I was just an easy target. When I moved into the city I did little to introduce myself to the other kids. I was shy so I stuck to myself and pulled away from the other kids. Face it it's usually the weak timid kid that gets it. It's kind of like in the wild where the strongest survive and the weakest one gets pegged of. I am not saying I am supporting bullying in anyway, I am just saying we need to do more about bullying then this no tolerance crap. No tolerance should include parenting classes for the parents should it repeat. Some sort of bullying should be considered criminal, no kid should be shoved around belittled, and made fun of. Parents are a good source of bullying, either their kid is not the type to do it, or they themselves set a poor example early on. Watch parents on a playground or in the younger grades when kids are more active, you'll see it if one kid is different. I know one little girl who had trouble making friends because their mothers didn't want their kids near her because she had two daddies. Shoot have a bullied kid tell on the people bullying him your just asking for that kid to get more shit. now that bullied kid is going to get tormented because he tattled.

teachers stop waiting for the kids to speak up, if you see it, or if you see a kid more with drawn become pro-active to snip it in the arse right there.

Back to the point, how long was I bullied? Well that would be from 5th grade till senior year of high school. A teacher asked the students some time in middle school why they teased me so because even he saw it. The student response was "I don't know." life in school did just got worse after that; Thanks teach. Don't really know what happened in 11 grade, it just involved me suddenly slamming a kid against the locker one day. Guess my subconscious had it. Since then I learned of five bunched up good reasons why they should not bully me. Still was the out caste but no one dared come near me or verbally tease me since that. Rather my bullying came to an end because kids got their heads out of their arse, not because they were now afraid of me. I admit it at some times I had thoughts of pulling something a Columbine because I was bullied so bad some days.

It probably didn't help that our school was over crowded in all forms and definitions of it. Getting up and down the stairwells was like a shoving match. Finding a seat in the lunch room was a mad dash rush. If you didn't get a spot you were sitting on the floor. Special Education classes were held in an old closet they were so strapped for room Yeah nothing like having the Special kids sit so close together they could cause plenty of trouble without really moving :laughs:. Yeah special ed classes where my only break from the other kids, nothing like being with kids that are just as f-ed up as you to give you a break.

As for my parents in this, well I have a dead-beat dad, and a mom that didn't give a crap. "So what in school I was bullied much worse then you. What do you have to feel bad about." later I would learn from one of her HS friends that was a lie, my mom was a popular kid.

i would go into more detail but really I doubt you guys want to hear stories. oh-hahha i em late for work now.

[5M0K3]

It's not the timid kids' fault! Granted, they are an easy target, but that doesn't mean they deserve to be bullied!

[DrowningFishy]

It's not the timid kids' fault! Granted, they are an easy target, but that doesn't mean they deserve to be bullied!

No, timid kids don't deserve to be bullied, but there damn easy targets because they don't fight back.

[Rawra]

I'm 12 now

I'm just going to pretend that was a typo.

On topic, however, I was never bullied. I wasn't "Miss Popularity" either, but still. In Elementary and Middle School, I was kinda the boys' best friend. While I'm not too feminine today either, I was even less back then. I had female friends also, of course. The reason I wasn't bullied isn't that I was a popular girl or anything, as I mentioned before, it's that I did my best to be friends with everyone, so that kept the balance. Also, I had a good relationship with all the professors, and that helped as well, considering the fact that my sister worked in the same school I learned.

[Mortimer 2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zp51YrS_Pc

[SimsLover50]

I was not bullied too much. There were a few 'mean' girls who weren't nice, but it never became true bullying. In high school one girl in a lockeroom threatened to beat me up and I don't recall what I did to piss her off, but if I recall it seemed a bit odd and out of the blue. I think I put my stuff down on HER bench. I didn't back down though and she never bugged me, nor did she try antyhign. It was a weird exchange. I have to say in grade school I was kind of the big chunky kid, and people didn't pick on me. I was bigger and stronger than other girls.

In high shool I became sort of goth and just hung out with other art students. No one bugged me.

The worst bullies were my own sister and dad. My dad is a general was sort of mean and my sister was also was kind of like him.

[VerDeTerre]

This is very sad and disturbing. Is there anything that can be done to prevent bullying? What is the best response to it? How can adults teach children to be caring and empathetic? How can they help those who are being bullied?

[Dasila]

I got bullied by my "friends" but then as i grew up i got sick of it and started reacting aggressivly. then they got too scared to bother me. i was a tomboy and hung out with the guys(this was the innocent age). then when the guys started to have more balls then brains (where i live it was about in 8th grade) i wasnt neccesarily bullied but was harassed by guysfor "favors" and when i said no thats when the legit bullying started. but i had alot of friends which made the harassment a fly on my windsheild. eventualy the boys grew out of it(i refused to date because they never liked me for me).
oh and i went to one of those rich kid public schools that has a great reputation with sports and grades. but if you went to the sschool you would learn that kids do drugs, drink and party hard.

in terms of how we should handle it
I think that there is alot we could do however i dont see it as ever going away completley. No matter how many sad videos we watched people would always make fun of it. There are also those teachers that just stand by and watch. sure we can help it and reduce it but in order to get rid of it completley we would have to put moniters on everyone. And let us not forget that bullying dosent only happen with kids. there are adults who "bully" other adults.
And also no one deserves to be bullied. and i will admitt that i have bullied myself and the fact that i was bullied dosent make it right.

[VerDeTerre]

I've had so many thoughts on this subject for a long time, but have never come to any hard conclusions.

*I have seen adults completely miss when bullying is taking place. I'm not sure why that happens. Sometimes, kids will put on a happy face as it happens, as if it's all a game. So many times, when an adult tells kids to stop playing rough, they'll claim, "It's ok, w'ere just kidding" or "this is my brother/sister/friend". It's confusing. I remember stopping two kids who were pushing a kid against a wall during a little outdoor break at a middle school (age ranges 12 - 15). There were several adults nearby who didn't even notice what was going on. The kid against the wall was smiling, until I asked the other two to stop. Then he let out a big breath and his face changed. He said, "Finally an adult notices." This cannot be a random incident.

*Bullies are people who need as much help as their victims. They need education and understanding. I'm fairly certain that it has been proven that these are not individuals that suffer from a lack of self-esteem. Rather they seem to suffer from a lack of empathy. I agree that the videos are not very effective. They can be laughable. I wonder about that program that brings toddlers and mothers into elementary classrooms to teach empathy to the rest of the class?

*There's a weird pack mentality that can be observed among some adolescents. It almost changes the mindset of the individuals who get involved in such a pack. This is something you see in gangs and in groups that commit horrendous crimes. The sense of belonging and identity found in the group becomes more important than the values the individual may hold. I don't understand it, but I've observed it. It is most definitely not true of ALL adolescents, just some.

*On some level I wonder if part of the issue arises by putting all these young people together by age groupings. It's not exactly natural for primates to have the young separated and educated according to the year they were born. We put all the eight-year-olds together, all the 15-year-olds, etc. I wonder if this type of grouping lends itself more to pecking order? I'm not saying it does, it's just a thought that is running through my mind.

*I agree that adults do bully. I've had a couple of bosses who have done it. People who like to bully get into positions where they can do it. Some will use bullying to maintain their power, control and status. The people who are victims, who report it, are often penalized in the long run. I haven't seen anyone be successful by reporting it.

[5M0K3]

Bullying is really serious and sadly very hard to get rid of. While children are at school there is no way for bullying to be 100% prevented. In elementary school, teachers usually do something, but in middle-high school? Kids are crazy then - I'm not blaming the new generation, because children 11-17 have always been crazy. Kids will bully - in many cases it will get violent. I don't know what people can do about it.

[Rawra]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zp51YrS_Pc

Soooo it was fake. Little brat. :wtf:

[VerDeTerre]

I'm not seeing it the same way you are. Why do you think it was a fake?

[DrowningFishy]

I'm not seeing it the same way you are. Why do you think it was a fake?

Cause basically the kid admitted it was fake.

[VerDeTerre]

I'm still seeing it differently. He says everyone loves him - but he means now, not then. He has a note in the comment section of the first video, "...and yes I do have friends, my High School friends, and I have made friends because when I came out they realized that they had hurt me and that they fealt sorry..." He still has the scars. He is laughing in the second video. I took that to mean that he feels accepted and comfortable with himself.

There are a few articles about him on the web: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/mother-jonah-mowry-bullied-gay-son-inspired-support/story?id=15090692#.Tt6RkGNFusp

To me, it looks like he's in a better place.

[Dasila]

the one thing that i felt happy about with my school was that no one( exept for like 2 jackasses) made fun of the disabled kids. You dont realize how happy that made me. I was also happy that no one bullied me about the scars on my wrists (although i was pretty good at covering them up). I think it was because they knew that if they bullied me about that that it would end up ending terribly. If anything i would just get that look. And uh...the scars wernt because of being bullied...just tought i should add that haha.

One time we gave a disabled girl an award at a pep rally and everyone stood up and clapped. Some people were so moved that they started to cry.
Now my question is what type of bullying do yall think is the worst. And from which type of person do you think is the worst. Personaly i think its from the "friends". But maybe im influenced by my personal experiences

[SpookyOkyBatGirl]

When I was 12, I realized that I was gay. I ended up telling my very best friend (who was a boy, and I'm a girl). I didn't know it, but he had a huge crush on me and me telling him that I was gay crushed his heart and he ended up telling the entire school. I go to a private Christian school, and word got out that I'm gay, which is a horrible sin according to the Bible. I was horribly, horribly bullied at school. As in, I was beaten badly enough to visit the hospital three times before the school took action. They told the students that if they wanted to beat up the faggot that it needed to take place off school grounds. So they would either drag me off school property or ambush me on my way to the high school school where my older brother would drive me home. I got beaten into a coma once and beaten into the hospital a total of 10 times.

The teachers didn't do anything about the name calling. They actually took part in making fun of me, if I did any little thing wrong, I was punished extra severe. I was asked to leave (got kicked out) of my church, all my after school clubs and my volleybal and cheerleading teams because they don't want gays in the church or club and my teammates were terrified I would molest or something. All my female friends grew terribly frightened that I would fall in love with or turn them gay.

I ended up moving to my dad's in another state where nobody knew me because everybody was so horrible. I still get harrassing text messages, Facebook notifcations, emails and an occasional snail mail letter with threats from them, even though I've changed my number, email and address and never told any of them said information nor is it available on my Facebook.

This entire episode made me become terrified of other people, especially people touching me or me touching others. I only let a select few that I truly love and trust (about 3 people outside my family) touch/hug/hold my hand or whatever. (I seriously get weird looks cause I literally have a meltdown. My teacher made me hug her and my editor on my newspaper staff cause I won an award for reporter of the month and I literally started crying I got so nervous and they were all "awwww" and tried to hug me more which made it worst. They don't make me hug them anymore. If I hug somebody outside my little trust circle, people are totally shocked. I save it for the holidays.) I rarely leave my house outside of school because I'm so scared somebody will hurt me if I leave the house/school property.

[yamirenamon]

When I was 12, I realized that I was gay. I ended up telling my very best friend (who was a boy, and I'm a girl). I didn't know it, but he had a huge crush on me and me telling him that I was gay crushed his heart and he ended up telling the entire school. I go to a private Christian school, and word got out that I'm gay, which is a horrible sin according to the Bible. I was horribly, horribly bullied at school. As in, I was beaten badly enough to visit the hospital three times before the school took action. They told the students that if they wanted to beat up the faggot that it needed to take place off school grounds. So they would either drag me off school property or ambush me on my way to the high school school where my older brother would drive me home. I got beaten into a coma once and beaten into the hospital a total of 10 times.

The teachers didn't do anything about the name calling. They actually took part in making fun of me, if I did any little thing wrong, I was punished extra severe. I was asked to leave (got kicked out) of my church, all my after school clubs and my volleybal and cheerleading teams because they don't want gays in the church or club and my teammates were terrified I would molest or something. All my female friends grew terribly frightened that I would fall in love with or turn them gay.

I ended up moving to my dad's in another state where nobody knew me because everybody was so horrible. I still get harrassing text messages, Facebook notifcations, emails and an occasional snail mail letter with threats from them, even though I've changed my number, email and address and never told any of them said information nor is it available on my Facebook.

This entire episode made me become terrified of other people, especially people touching me or me touching others. I only let a select few that I truly love and trust (about 3 people outside my family) touch/hug/hold my hand or whatever. (I seriously get weird looks cause I literally have a meltdown. My teacher made me hug her and my editor on my newspaper staff cause I won an award for reporter of the month and I literally started crying I got so nervous and they were all "awwww" and tried to hug me more which made it worst. They don't make me hug them anymore. If I hug somebody outside my little trust circle, people are totally shocked. I save it for the holidays.) I rarely leave my house outside of school because I'm so scared somebody will hurt me if I leave the house/school property.

It is absolutely absurd that you should go through this treatment day in and day out! These people are doing a severely poor job in showing Christ's unconditional love. I do not know who you are in person and I probably never will. But do know that I care and I wish I were there to just be there for you.

[Dasila]

@spooky Thats so terrible! Well ive never read the bible nor do i believe in god(no haters please!). It would be an insult to yu if i said that i understand but i do want to tell you that you shouldnt give a fu*k what people who act like that think. If someone is going to do something like that then that shows what kind of person they are. They have no life if they do stuff like that and there is definately something wrong with them and i bet that most of them to this day regret what they have done and will spend the rest of their lives living with that burden. Now alittle off topic here but i think you would find alot of comfort with a pet. Alot of people are hesitant but they are truly angels and they never judge you and are sooo loyal. You know you could probably write an award winning book and show just how wrong it is. Kinda of like you being a voice for gays everywhere. And also if you ever need to talk to someone you can Always pm me but i do understand if yiu dont want to. A good person to get you up when your down is ellen degeneres. Shes lesbian, married and she tells everybody. Shes very famous and everyone loves her. Haha she can do like whatever she wants and get away with it.

[vhanster]

@spooky: You know, if I'm not mistaken, being romantically interested in a person with the same sex itself is not a sin as long as you don't pursue or get into intimate relationship with them. And to me, the people who bullies you are committing a bigger sin by hurting and isolating a fellow human being. And the guy who had that crush on you shouldn't be spreading such rumours either. That's slander!

Yeesh, people these days don't seem to understand what being a Christian. Anyway, just because people go to church and/or christian schools doesn't make them actual Christians.

As for me, I've never been bullied although I'm somewhat distanced from my classmates. That's not really their fault though. I'm the only international student in my class, and I usually go back home during holidays instead of hanging out/ going for outings with them- so I spend a lot less time with them than they do with each other.

[VerDeTerre]

That is so sad, SpookyOkyBatGirl. So sad and just so awful. No one should ever have to face what you have. I am so sorry that you have. You are a worthwhile human being and you have a right to walk this planet with everyone else. Keep surviving.

The fear of people and being touched sounds like post traumatic stress - and no wonder! Are you seeing a therapist? I hope you are, because you need someone in your corner who can help you heal from this crap.

Not everyone in this world is a complete ass. I know you know that because you have people you love and trust. But there are more out there and connecting with them might help you to feel stronger.


*Edit* It's neither a sin nor a choice to be gay. If you are religious, check out the churches that accept that - The Universal Unitarian, for example.

[Sparklycookie]

I was bullied throughout secondary school and lost most of my trust and faith in people as a result. It however taught me to stay strong and ignore what others think of me. My school was useless too.

[DrowningFishy]

I was bullied throughout secondary school and lost most of my trust and faith in people as a result. It however taught me to stay strong and ignore what others think of me. My school was useless too.

Without bullying I would have never grown up to be a sarcastic bitch.

[SimsLover50]

Bullying and descriminating because the bible or other religious text says so is still bullying. It is evil and wrong no matter why it occurs. It used to be 'sinful' to show your ankles in public. Personally, I doubt god really cares. It is always interesting to me that God's opinion seems to reflect the opinion of the people who believe in him. Think women should cover up? God wants that and anything else is evil/sinful! er.... Right.

The truth is, no one really knows what is sinful and what is not.

[fraroc]

Ugh.......this is one of the MANY reasons why I'm agnostic....browbeating and bullying people in the name of God....disgusting

[VerDeTerre]

It seems like it's off topic to bring up religion, but just recently Michigan proposed an anti-bullying law that excluded bullying for religious reasons. You have to ask - WTF? How can that be anti-bullying?

http://www.windycitymediagroup.com/gay/lesbian/news/ARTICLE.php?AID=34639

Here's a brave senator who opposed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDK-ja8PLgg

[SimsLover50]

That is pretty regressive. If victims do not have enough on their plates already.

All bullies have sincerely held beliefs as to why they do what they do and often they are religious ones. . Religious bullies should not get passes just because their viewpoint happens to be a religious one. There is a lot of scope in that really and it gives people a major out if they are accused of bullying.

[vhanster]

Ugh.......this is one of the MANY reasons why I'm agnostic....browbeating and bullying people in the name of God....disgusting

Those people seems to have a twisted view of what their religion is supposed to be. Or, they're just jerkasses trying to justify their crimes or shift the blame to 'God'.

[5M0K3]

@spooky: That's horrible! I'm so sorry!

I know this is a major cliche used by parents and mother-like friends, but like, half the time kids make fun of someone for being gay, they are just a little "stuck in the closet" if you know what I mean. When I was in middle school, my gym teacher was a lesbian (I feel like this has been over-used) but none of the girls acted weird around her. We'd change in front of her, whatever, she'd talk to us about her romance life and give girls advice - and it wasn't "Oh men are horrible" BS. But all of the boys freaked out around her. Which is strange, I'd figure it'd be the other way around, 'specially since a good number of guys consider homosexuality in women hot. The kids at my middle school were pretty tolerant (of everything except race.) so they didn't care that she was a lesbian.

@vhanster: I've never read your little book, but if it's a sin for someone to have sex with someone they love, then I don't want to live on this planet anymore! (sorry if I'm coming off as kinda bitchy, my dog's going through um... dog puberty, and it's making me super duper angry) If two people love each other, who are we to say they can't have a normal, intimate relationship? What about this "god" fellow? I'm agnostic (I supposed a bit on the atheist side of the spectrum) but I don't see how something that may or may not exist should be telling me what's "sinful" and what isn't. If someone is a homosexual, good for them! That's their own deal, they can be proud and admit "I am a homosexual", just act no differently, or become one of those "come-out-of-the-closet-already" bullies. I'm straight, and I've never been bullied by a gay person (I have, but not about sexuality), but I've seen people treat homosexuals like the scum of the earth.

To quote one of my gay friends, "I'll have sex with who I want, when I want, how I want!"

[DrowningFishy]

@5M0K3 you know that's funny because I herd the quote form one of my gay friends "I'll f who ever I want, when I want, with how many I want, even if it's in a gd fur suit. That's my right even if you don't like it."

I remeber in school there was this guy who used to tease me and try to call me gay-of course later he was caught kissing another boy in the school hallway. Short of a quick laughed no one really cared.

[Undercovers_Agent]

To be honest I never really remember bullying to be as bad as it is, or at least seems to be, nowadays. I never bullied anyone but the people who bullied me or my brothers or sisters, and if you wanted to pick on me, you were getting your faced rearranged. I dunno, I do wanna say though that bullying of gay/lesbian/bi/transgender kids ain't nothing new, and I absolutely despise people who try and change people's preferences to their own liking through violence and abuse because they don't think it's "right"

[SpookyOkyBatGirl]

I wrote and got an article published in my local newspaper and our school paper about the school describing what was happening and the treatment of myself and mentioned other students from the Catholic high school (where my bro went, it was run under the same principal but different buildings that was a block away) that was experiencing the very similar bullying issue with four other students, but the school said if I did anymore of that (using their school name in a negative way), I would be sued for slander, false information and a number of other bull. I had been demoted from editor in chief to a staff reporter because of the gay thing (they kept me cause I was good) but I got kicked off for letting that article go to print.

[VerDeTerre]

That boils my blood! It's not "slander" if it's the truth. But unfortunately, this is the thing I see, that the person who reports problems gets victimized or victimized further.

[Dasila]

there is the possibly of just not saying their name but getting whats going on out there.

[VerDeTerre]

Do you mean alluding to the incident without giving details?

[SpookyOkyBatGirl]

My article didn't focus on the school's problems, but addressed the problems of being bullied for sexuality, and mentioned "students, such as ____ ____, a Junior at _______, have experienced being bullied for his homosexuality since he first came out at_____" and so on. But since I put the school's name, they claimed I was ruining their good name.

[VerDeTerre]

Shame on them. You can't ruin a "good" name if you report on the foul activities associated with it. If they had a good name before, then they did not deserve it. They're punishing you for telling the truth? Shame on them!

[Dasila]

Verdeterre i just ment without publishing the name of the school

[SpookyOkyBatGirl]

Yeah, they got huge controversy all the times, mostly on the high school campus. Most of it is traumatizing. As in, how the **** are they still a school? How come nobody's shut them down!?

[VerDeTerre]

Ohh....I see. I wonder if that would have worked? It shouldn't be necessary, but it would have been a way to write about the issue without having to pay the price of whistle blowing. Unless, of course, it was obvious which school was being written about.

Spooky - private schools have lots more leeway than public ones. Public ones have to answer to stricter codes.

[SpookyOkyBatGirl]

I understand. But they got away with so much. They get pissy if people point out the problems of the school. For example: Of course people are going to get pissy when a student is arrested for pulling a knife out and nearly slitting a classmate's throat (she was thankfully unharmed, only a small scratch with no stitches needed). But it was on a field trip, so it was off campus, so they school wouldn't claim responsibility.

[Undercovers_Agent]

They got arrested for that? Wow schools are stricter nowadays on zero tolerance policies, I can see attempted murder but I used to get in huge fights all the time, the types that were bloody, rough, and physical, and never got arrested nor even expelled, I think I got a three week out of school suspension once. Then again maybe parents sue more? I dunno.

[VerDeTerre]

Yeah, Undercovers, that kind of behavior is no longer tolerated.

@ Spooky. When a school takes a field trip, the school is considered responsible for the behavior of the school. I understand how schools try to protect their reputation, but printing something that mentions an incident at a school that is true is not slander and they are in the wrong for coming back at you for it. As a student, you should have that right. The teachers and other staff may not have the same freedom, of course, as a condition of their employment.

[vhanster]

It's not "slander" if it's the truth.

Actually, slander means "defamation". So it doesn't matter whether or not it's true, but as long as the claim gives a negative image to another person, it's called slander.

[Dordracio]

Yeah in my class its like a up and down bully thing. I get bullied, i bully, i het bullied, i bully. Its not Realy harsh and the teachers care. They made a "dare to share box" that if someones bullying you, you wright their name on a piecce od paper and you wright what they did and you slip the paper in the box. The thing is people dont use it as much :rofl:. But yeah my class is realy judge minded. I get bullied because im a toronto maple leads fan. And when i bully, i usaly just do my best not to hurt their feelings i do it because i need a laugh now and then. But heres the thing:

People who bully were proberly once bullied or have a family problum or somthing.

And the worst kind of bullying is cyber bullying

People.... People somtimes hurt themselves because of bullying

Facebook is the cyber bullying playground

[VerDeTerre]

Actually, slander means "defamation". So it doesn't matter whether or not it's true, but as long as the claim gives a negative image to another person, it's called slander. I don't think that's quite right. There's more to the definition, or it's a bit different than that. If a reporter does an expose, for example, that's not slander, it's exposing the ugly truth about something. The negative image is only created because the awful truth of the individual or institution is brought out into the light of day where everyone can view it. Calling a spade a spade is not slander.

[Yazoo]

I hate bullying! I hate it. You read all these papers or magazines where a teen or a young adult killed themselves, because they were bullied. Its messed up. People that bully have the lowest self-esteem, and they just want to make themselves feel better. And its sad. They just need to get freaking HELP. Before running into a school and shooting people. Or making someone feel like they are worthless piece of crap, just to make them feel even better. Its very upsetting. And I honestly feel sorry for anyone that has to go along with this torture.

I went through it in high school. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I wanted to end my life, because I hated who I was, and what people saw me as. It was very heartbreaking. I would come home, and cry. Not knowing when the tears would stop. I also wrote in my diary, asking why...Why...Why. Bullying isn't right, and it needs to be STOPPED.

[VerDeTerre]

Bullying does need to stop, but no one seems to be in agreement about how to do that. It needs to be looked at more closely. One thing that has been proposed is empathy training, such as when mothers with young children visit classrooms of middle school aged children (12 - 14), talk to the students about the concerns and issues raising the children and the older kids get to interact with the younger ones.

I've read several articles on the topic of bullying and many have pointed out that bullies do not suffer from low self-esteem as has been previously thought. According to what I've read, they suffer from an over-inflated sense of self and a lack of empathy with others. I'm not sure if that's always true. I have seen bullies like that, but I've also heard of bullies who go ballistic, as in Columbine, who were people who were bullied themselves. I suspect that there is more than one profile of what makes a bully.

The topic of bullying seems complicated to me. I don't believe there is a single fix, a single type of bully, a single type of victim. Again, this needs to be looked at more closely and I would be very excited about this thread if someone were to offer some insight as to what might work to put an end to it.

[AlexandraSpears]

I was bullied on a regular basis when I was a child, mostly elementary and junior high (this was in the 1980s). There was this one instance, when I was in first grade, at recess this third-grade girl pinned me up against the wall and slammed the back of my head against it. Her older sister, though, got on her case about it and told her to leave me alone.

I can say based on experience that running and telling the teacher makes things worse, despite what they tell you on TV. You have to take matters into your own hands sometimes. My dad always told me how he was bullied but when he quit running and started fighting back they left him alone.

One time in junior high this boy had me backed in a corner and was just pounding on me. I kicked him where it would be most instructive and he went whining to the principal.

I would agree, though, that parents should talk to their children about bullying and teach them how to behave themselves.

[VerDeTerre]

Running to the teacher does not help - I've heard this time and time again.I've heard others say the same thing as you, Alexandra, that the bullying stopped when the victim stood up for himself. My son stopped some bullies when he blocked a punch that one threw at him from the side. Luckily, he was trained in karate so he was always prepared. What he couldn't stop before that, however, was the constant theft of his personal property whenever he left a classroom, even for a short period of time or the vandalism of his locker.

The instruction I've received regarding harassment suggests that keeping quiet, while someone is attempting to dominate you, is dangerous. In a situation where someone says something under their breath or tries to intimidate quietly, calling them out and LOUDLY so to draw attention to their actions is recommended. The thinking behind this is that certain bullies operate best in secret and are successful with their intimidation tactics when their victims are embarrassed into silence. When the targeted individuals says loudly, "Why would you ask....?" so that everyone becomes aware of what the bully is doing at that moment, it puts him (her) into an embarrassing spot. I'm not sure that this would really work in all situations.

Bullying still feels like a complicated topic and one solution does not fit all scenarios.

I agree that parents should talk to their kids too. What should they say or how do you think they should approach these discussions? I would think setting expectations for behavior might be a starting point. Also, maybe drawing the line between moral thinking/values and specific actions.

[SimsLover50]

Bullying is a complex issue and I suspect there is no one size fits all solution nor is every scenario the same, or as clear cut.

First, I think the overall issue of civility should be addressesd. Many people simply aren't taught to be polite, considerate. or care for the well-being of others, particularly the weak and helpless and defensely. Second in anonymous situations like the net, people let their worst side show.

Then there is the issue really of accountability. People aren't held accountable as much for the things they say and do.

There there is the issue of sensativity. Some folks, both bullies and bullied are really really sensative. I know it sounds like I'm blaming the victim, but I'm really not as bullies can be sensative too. Sometimes its best to learn how to let things roll off your back. People pick on you or get deffensive if they think they've struck a nerve or are being criticized. Shrug it off and don't let it bother you. ARe you happier holding onto the criticism and negative behavior of others?

I encounter bullies frequently online and the more I do the less they bug me, and the more I stand up for myself. However, as one of the 'sensative' kids, I know how much it hurts to be picked on.

I really am glad I've worked hard to desensitize myself more, and to shed some of my hypersensativity. I'm happier fretting less about the opinions of others. I honestly wish I had learned this technique sooner.

I'm not saying desensitizing yourself is the answer for all types of bullying or everyone but it is a way to help with certain types of conflict which might otherwise hurt. It also empowers a person to stand up and be less imobilized by the negativity around you. The less hurt you are in a situation the more empowered you are to act, the more control you have over your emotional well-being.

[LuvSims2011]

I was bullied in the second grade. But not as bad as Jonah. I feel bad for the poor guy. Back in the 2nd grade, there was this 3rd grader named Jared who bullied me for no reason. He threw snowballs at me. I would say something to him and he would interrupt me by saying, "Victoria (me) and Gabriel (his little brother, and he was my friend) sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." I can't remember what else he did to me; I just forgot all the terrible memories I had when it all ended. But I do remember that someone saw Jared do something to me and called the principal of my school. At first they thought Gabriel did the bad things to me so Gabriel and I had to go to the principal's office. They talked to us and we became friends after this stupid fight we had. Then I finally told them later on that Gabriel wasn't the kid bullying me. It was Jared. So me and Jared got called to the principal's office and talked to us and after that Jared kept on bullying me - even if he said to the principal that he wouldn't bully me anymore. Jerk.

I don't wanna talk about this anymore so I'm just gonna say this: It all ended by my parents having me stay away from him. Then I saw him again and he was nice to me, probably because it was around Christmas time...

[LuvSims2011]

P.S. Then I went to a different school and it's FULL of bullying...

[BringTheBoysOut]

Ah yes. Bullying. I've had some interesting experiences with that.
7th grade, in sometime during October, I believe. I was short, scrawny, and most importantly, Asian. Naturally, there were racists. They would slant their eyes with their fingers and all that jazz. Then, one day, the one before Halloween, they beat me up. I've got a scar from where one of them clawed me. Ouchies.
So now I'm a sophomore, and yeah, I get bullied still sometimes. But you know? The worst is over.

[VerDeTerre]

I was bullied in the second grade....So me and Jared got called to the principal's office and talked to us and after that Jared kept on bullying me - even if he said to the principal that he wouldn't bully me anymore. Jerk.

I don't wanna talk about this anymore so I'm just gonna say this: It all ended by my parents having me stay away from him. Then I saw him again and he was nice to me, probably because it was around Christmas time...

LuvSims, there's a couple of things I'm wondering about.

1) If you went back to the principal each time Jared bullied you, do you think there might have been a different result? The few times I've seen the authorities be effective with bullies was when there was some sort of follow through. One talk and the bullying continue s unless the authorities have make it clear that they are keeping an eye on the situation and that there will be consequences.

My son was bullied by "friends" in 4th grade, not physically, but by excluding him in play and by generally being mean. I talked to his teacher about it and she talked to the boy in question. She made him understand in no uncertain terms what would happen to him if she heard of any more incidences. She also spelled out the ways she knew he could be insincere and would not be able to fool her. It went so much further than any general talk and there were no problems after that.

2) I'm wondering what was the motive for the bullying. The boy might have simply enjoyed upsetting you. It sounds like he was also picking on his brother at the same time. I'm wondering if he was jealous of you in some way, if perhaps he had feelings and didn't know the right way to express them so he teased you instead. The fact that he was nice to you later is why I thought of that.

There was a boy in middle school who picked on me pretty badly. He was friends with my boyfriend, but that didn't stop him from teasing me every time he saw me. One time, he complimented something I was wearing. I looked at him and waited for the tease that I assumed was part of the compliment, but to my surprise, that was all there was. I said, "thank you" and realized that all along he would have been flirting with me if he could have gotten away with it. My boyfriend scared a lot of kids.

Now that I'm remembering more, I remember teasing and putting down certain boys I liked. I even did that as a young adult years ago with my current boyfriend. When we first met I was nice to him, but then when he didn't notice me (he had a girlfriend), I fell into a habit of teasing him when I was with him. Sometimes, I got a little mean. I wasn't conscious of my actions; I just thought I was playing with him and it was a way to not reveal my feelings. At one point I stopped myself and asked what I was doing. I realized then that it would make more sense to be nice to him if I wanted to be his friend. You would say, "Duh", but as I said, my original behavior was not anything I began consciously. Good thing I changed my tactics because if we hadn't become friendly, years later I doubt he would have wanted to see me romantically.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. These are good stories and, hopefully, if we keep talking about this, we might get some insight and some solutions.

[VerDeTerre]

Ah yes. Bullying. I've had some interesting experiences with that.
7th grade, in sometime during October, I believe. I was short, scrawny, and most importantly, Asian. Naturally, there were racists. They would slant their eyes with their fingers and all that jazz. Then, one day, the one before Halloween, they beat me up. I've got a scar from where one of them clawed me. Ouchies.
So now I'm a sophomore, and yeah, I get bullied still sometimes. But you know? The worst is over.

This makes me wonder about age. There is an terrible amount of bullying in middle school and freshman year of high school. Sophomore year is better, but can still be rough. Things do get better as the years progress. And the scene outside of high school is completely different - I think.

[5M0K3]

And the worst kind of bullying is cyber bullying Uhh, no. I was bullied all the time when I was in 6th-10th grade. I had been cyber-bullied before, and it didn't matter to me, because it felt to me like they were too scared to go up to my face and say whatever it was they were saying. In high 10th grade, the teachers talked about cyber-bullying, and I couldn't help but think, "THIS is what worries you? CYBER-frikkin'-BULLYING? When someone is cyber-bullying you, all you have to do, is SIGN OFF." They did not give two shits about the kids getting bullied at school, after school, before school, whatever. If it was over the internet, it was suddenly the 8th deadly sin.

I was depressed and practically suicidal in 8th grade, I don't like to say emo, because I looked just like a typical person, and I never cut myself, but I was extremely depressed. This group of girls would beat me up on the bus (our bus driver did NOT care) almost everyday, and even followed me home a few times. I tried drinking myself to death (not with alcohol, but with water, it's like inside out drowning, and it CAN happen, but you need to drink a shitload of water!) but I couldn't drink that much water, and I vomited like, more than what I drank.

When I started high school I became "that freaky girl" who just didn't care about anything. I'm not talking about some "cool" "rebel" "I-go-by-my-own-rules" type of person, but I just sat down with my head in my hands everyday. I had to stay after school for tutoring because my grades were so low, and when I was walking to class, a junior grabbed me, and slammed my face into a locker. I ran home (I lived within walking distance of my high school) and I just stayed in my room and cried.

Several months later, there was a new boy that I had a few classes with. He saw me getting bullied, and he got in the bullies' faces and told them to stop. (MY HERO!)

Things can get better ~ but when school is over, you have so much time ahead of you. You'll be able to put the past behind you, and move on. Besides... It's more fun to be an adult. ;)

[Yazoo]

Bullying, is a great way to make jerkwad friends, and hurt others around them. And the worse part, schools don't do anything until its too late. People keep bringing down these students, and hurting. Calling them fat, ugly, stupid, etc. And they grow up to have that mind set for themselves. And they begin to see that in the mirror, and keep repeating it over and over again, coming down to it, they believe its completely true. I know some parents do help. But some, just say: "Don't worry, you will get over it." And let their child "try" to move on from all of the pain. And most of those kids either grow up to be addicted depression medication, or never grow up.

I read a lot in magazines, and I read a lot online. I watch videos were a kid is bawling their eyes out, and asking for help. Then three weeks later you read he/she killed themselves. And most will blame the school system, they are partially to blame, but so is the parents. And they need to help their child, when in need. Not just brush them off, and say whatever. No one knows how truly it hurts to be bullied, UNTIL either it happens to them or a friend is being bullied. Its not a dream, its a nightmare.

You see, bullies will always make fun of someone, why? Because they want to feel better about themselves, but in all honesty. They are the one with the very low self esteem, and they take it out someone else, just to get that feeling of actually feeling superior. Then it doesn't stop at the school, it goes towards the cyber world. Then they get a lot of people behind them, and it becomes this epidemic of nothing but harassing, until the person breaks, and they are at funeral, while their parents bawl over their grave.

The Suicide rate is so bloody high, because of what people go through in their daily life. Everyone can be bullied, even the bulliers. From Elementary to the day someone dies. They can be bullied. For:

Race

Sexual Orientation

Religion

Age

Gender

Disabled

So many areas that become a tragedy. You watch or hear someone getting beat up, because of who they are. Because it doesn't belong to a click or sits right in someone's mind. Look at what happened to some of the kids that were bullied, they came to school and shot students and teachers. Some went to the lengths and told people I am going to kill myself. No one, believed them, and did they? Yes, they did. A lot of people just do not know what it is going on in the minds of someone that bullies.

Do I wish this crisis would end? Yes, because bullying is like a fashion. Its in, and the kids that end up killing themselves, they have been outdated, and needed to go. Its so sad, and it makes me cry every time I read about someone ending their life. For instance:

There was a story in the People's magazine. This 15 year old girl, she was beautiful, and made guys drop their jaws. But there was one guy that she liked. They began to date, with her NOT knowing that he was already in a relationship. And when his GIRLFRIEND found out, she continued to call the new girl a whore. And the girl even apologized. So it kept going around the school she was a whore, and it even continued to happen over the net. One day she snapped, and her younger sister came home. And found her hanging in the closet.

That story made me bawl. And I asked myself:

"What is wrong with people?!"

Its so sad, and I really wish it would end. Because it breaks my heart when I read these stories. I have been in their shoes. I used to sit by myself during lunch. No one wanted to sit next to me. I would cry during lunch. I would go to class, no one would talk to me. I was lied about, people spread a rumor that I slept with my teachers to get A's.

I was told that I was fat, ugly, and I will never be pretty. And that stuck. I tried killing myself, many times. Once when I was 13 (Almost succeeded), once when I was 16, and once when I was 18. I was so depressed, because every time I looked in the mirror, I was this fat and ugly cow. That I wanted to break every single mirror. And my so called friend, calls me an oinker....Yeah, it hurts.

I wish I could find a way to end bullying. I wish I could help those that get bullied, and let them talk it out. I wish...But wishes don't come true unless we act on them. And that is why I want bullying to finally STOP!

Uhh, no. I was bullied all the time when I was in 6th-10th grade. I had been cyber-bullied before, and it didn't matter to me, because it felt to me like they were too scared to go up to my face and say whatever it was they were saying. In high 10th grade, the teachers talked about cyber-bullying, and I couldn't help but think, "THIS is what worries you? CYBER-frikkin'-BULLYING? When someone is cyber-bullying you, all you have to do, is SIGN OFF." They did not give two shits about the kids getting bullied at school, after school, before school, whatever. If it was over the internet, it was suddenly the 8th deadly sin.

I was depressed and practically suicidal in 8th grade, I don't like to say emo, because I looked just like a typical person, and I never cut myself, but I was extremely depressed. This group of girls would beat me up on the bus (our bus driver did NOT care) almost everyday, and even followed me home a few times. I tried drinking myself to death (not with alcohol, but with water, it's like inside out drowning, and it CAN happen, but you need to drink a shitload of water!) but I couldn't drink that much water, and I vomited like, more than what I drank.

When I started high school I became "that freaky girl" who just didn't care about anything. I'm not talking about some "cool" "rebel" "I-go-by-my-own-rules" type of person, but I just sat down with my head in my hands everyday. I had to stay after school for tutoring because my grades were so low, and when I was walking to class, a junior grabbed me, and slammed my face into a locker. I ran home (I lived within walking distance of my high school) and I just stayed in my room and cried.

Several months later, there was a new boy that I had a few classes with. He saw me getting bullied, and he got in the bullies' faces and told them to stop. (MY HERO!)

Things can get better ~ but when school is over, you have so much time ahead of you. You'll be able to put the past behind you, and move on. Besides... It's more fun to be an adult. ;)

Hun, I am so very sorry to hear that. I really wish that never happened to you :( This actually brought tears to my eyes.

[VerDeTerre]

I'm sad for both of you, it sounds horrendous.

@5MOK3 - Sounds so typical, kids becoming depressed because of being bullied. The kind of kid you describe yourself as being is one I see a lot in school, but I don't see the bullying. I think kids are good at hiding it.

You mentioned the boy who stood up for you. Do you think that might be one of the things that needs to happen to stop bullying; to have the community of students stand up for the victims?

@Nevermore, do you have any thoughts on what should or could be done to help those who are being bullied? You say the schools aren't doing anything; what would you like them to do?

[Yazoo]

I guess, get more involved. I remember hearing about this girl in my school, and then a teacher sat there and watched her get bullied, and didn't do anything. I was like:

WTF?!

So I went to her, and we talked for about an hour. (After school) and she felt a lot better. We really need to find teachers that give a crap, instead of these jerkwads that just sit there, and walk on past by. Its not fair at all. And what else can we do? Hmm, a bullying hotline, maybe. For those kids that are scared to talk to someone face to face, they just can call and hear a voice.

Though...I may bawl my freaking eyes out hearing the stories.

OH! When cyber bullying starts, those "blogging" type sites, should just DELETE their site off the page, and get rid of them. And keep their IP address so they can NEVER make a new page for the site. Because cyber bullying is horrible. I hate it.

[5M0K3]

Hun, I am so very sorry to hear that. I really wish that never happened to you :( This actually brought tears to my eyes. Thank you :) But I felt very sorry for the boy that helped me, I *think* his named was Cody, it's been so long, I can't remember, but I had started talking to him after that, and we had become really good friends, so he told his biggest secret: He was gay. (of course I was accepting, I have nothing against gay people, but I was upset because I LIKED HIM!) I didn't tell anyone, but once he started dating another boy at our school, everyone was just so mean to him. They would call him horrible things, but he would never cry in front of them, he would only cry in front of me and/or his boyfriend. His house and my house were pretty close, so we would walk home together, and one day, his boyfriend was going to go to his house after school, so he went with us. A few minutes after we were off school campus, about 5 or 6 jocks came and jumped them. I feel bad for not doing anything but yelling "STOP! STOP!" but I have never been strong, so I knew I couldn't do anything. I think I tried to hit one of them with my bag, but I either missed or he barely felt it. A large group of students gathered around, shouting "GO! GO! GO! GO!" and chanting the jocks' names. Nobody bothered to help Cody and his boyfriend. Things got incredibly violent, and they ended up breaking Cody's nose. About 10 minutes into the fight, the cops showed up. I don't know if the jocks were put in juvie, or if they were suspended/expelled or something, but I didn't see them after that. (but I switched schools in the middle of 11th grade) Cody had to go to the hospital (his boyfriend wasn't as badly injured) and when his boyfriend and I went to visit him, he told us he wanted to kill himself, and that he would, as soon as he was out of the hospital. We told him that we love him, and we can't even imagine what it would be like if he died.

Awhile later we found out that somebody had been recording the fight, but cut out parts of it to make it look like Cody and his boyfriend were attacking the jocks. They showed that video to everyone, claiming that Cody and his boyfriend tried to rape the jocks. Everyone believe them, and they treated them like rapists.

When I hear/see/witness other people's bully experiences, it for some reason, makes whatever happen to me seem less... bad. I don't know, but Cody and his boyfriend definitely had it hard.

You mentioned the boy who stood up for you. Do you think that might be one of the things that needs to happen to stop bullying; to have the community of students stand up for the victims? I think it's incredibly sweet when students stand up for each other. Seeing that makes me cry, just knowing that there are some people with a heart of gold. I don't think it can eliminate the problem, but if definitely makes the bullied feel better.

[Yazoo]

Thank you :) But I felt very sorry for the boy that helped me, I *think* his named was Cody, it's been so long, I can't remember, but I had started talking to him after that, and we had become really good friends, so he told his biggest secret: He was gay. (of course I was accepting, I have nothing against gay people, but I was upset because I LIKED HIM!) I didn't tell anyone, but once he started dating another boy at our school, everyone was just so mean to him. They would call him horrible things, but he would never cry in front of them, he would only cry in front of me and/or his boyfriend. His house and my house were pretty close, so we would walk home together, and one day, his boyfriend was going to go to his house after school, so he went with us. A few minutes after we were off school campus, about 5 or 6 jocks came and jumped them. I feel bad for not doing anything but yelling "STOP! STOP!" but I have never been strong, so I knew I couldn't do anything. I think I tried to hit one of them with my bag, but I either missed or he barely felt it. A large group of students gathered around, shouting "GO! GO! GO! GO!" and chanting the jocks' names. Nobody bothered to help Cody and his boyfriend. Things got incredibly violent, and they ended up breaking Cody's nose. About 10 minutes into the fight, the cops showed up. I don't know if the jocks were put in juvie, or if they were suspended/expelled or something, but I didn't see them after that. (but I switched schools in the middle of 11th grade) Cody had to go to the hospital (his boyfriend wasn't as badly injured) and when his boyfriend and I went to visit him, he told us he wanted to kill himself, and that he would, as soon as he was out of the hospital. We told him that we love him, and we can't even imagine what it would be like if he died.

Awhile later we found out that somebody had been recording the fight, but cut out parts of it to make it look like Cody and his boyfriend were attacking the jocks. They showed that video to everyone, claiming that Cody and his boyfriend tried to rape the jocks. Everyone believe them, and they treated them like rapists.

When I hear/see/witness other people's bully experiences, it for some reason, makes whatever happen to me seem less... bad. I don't know, but Cody and his boyfriend definitely had it hard.

I think it's incredibly sweet when students stand up for each other. Seeing that makes me cry, just knowing that there are some people with a heart of gold. I don't think it can eliminate the problem, but if definitely makes the bullied feel better.


Hun, there is no reason to thank me, not at all. And to your friend that is just awful. And I really dislike a lot of jocks! I remember like three actually helped me, and defended me. It shocked me. They were amazing guys, and I love them for what they did for me. Anyone that called me "Fag" they would stand up for me. Anyone that called me "Fat" they wouldn't take it, and for me...I actually three people that cared for me.

Some will get lucky and have someone defend them, and some...well, they never find help...And end up not needing help later on. And it breaks my heart to hear of those kind of stories

[5M0K3]

Hun, there is no reason to thank me, not at all. And to your friend that is just awful. And I really dislike a lot of jocks! I remember like three actually helped me, and defended me. It shocked me. They were amazing guys, and I love them for what they did for me. Anyone that called me "Fag" they would stand up for me. Anyone that called me "Fat" they wouldn't take it, and for me...I actually three people that cared for me.

Some will get lucky and have someone defend them, and some...well, they never find help...And end up not needing help later on. And it breaks my heart to hear of those kind of stories Same here, and it especially just... GAH IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!! Especially when it's discrimination ~ I cannot STAND that. Why are people so ignorant? I was bullied because of my race, Cody was bullied because of his sexuality... Of course, all bullying is wrong, I believe I've read somewhere that bullying is actually illegal in some states. It should be. Bullying is the cause of so many deaths and suicides, and has ruined some people's lives. It's just awful how many people pass it as a minor issue because they've never dealt with it before. But when you have been bullied, you know it is not that simple. We need to nip this thing in the bud.

[Yazoo]

Because people are starting to become McAholes o.o I dunno. Bullying has gone on for a very long time. Take Salem Witch Trials for instance, smart women were claimed as Witches and burned at the stake. Some men too. No matter how people see it, they will never understand until it happens to them. That is why of course I wrote a story about bullying, of course I bawled like a baby when writing it. But it is true.

5MOK3, you are truly right, I think once we do get nipped in the bud, then we will not have to worry about it. Well, maybe a little bit. But not like we do now. Its horrible. It has become so bad, that I do not see the end of it. I will say this, bullying ends when that kid they were bullying takes their life. A couple weeks go by, then they begin to bully someone else. It will NEVER be right, EVER!

[5M0K3]

Because people are starting to become McAholes o.o I dunno. Bullying has gone on for a very long time. Take Salem Witch Trials for instance, smart women were claimed as Witches and burned at the stake. Some men too. No matter how people see it, they will never understand until it happens to them. That is why of course I wrote a story about bullying, of course I bawled like a baby when writing it. But it is true.

5MOK3, you are truly right, I think once we do get nipped in the bud, then we will not have to worry about it. Well, maybe a little bit. But not like we do now. Its horrible. It has become so bad, that I do not see the end of it. I will say this, bullying ends when that kid they were bullying takes their life. A couple weeks go by, then they begin to bully someone else. It will NEVER be right, EVER! No it will not, it's just one of those things. Why is there murder? Why is there rape? Why is there bullying? It's almost impossible to get rid of it, bullying has been around since... Well, since practically the beginning of time. Bullying on a larger scale, people treating other people like the scum of the Earth, none of it is right, we all know that, and yet it continues. The bullies know damn well it's wrong, especially if they have caused a suicide, but they continue to bully people. I hate to say it's human nature, because 1.) not all people are like that and 2.) it is not "human nature" to degrade someone, it's just ignorance.

It's especially hard to deal with children on this subject, because the bullies simply do not understand the dangers of what they are doing, and how it can affect people.

[AlexandraSpears]

I might add that I've always been the sensitive type. My parents told me time and again, they see you're a target, they'll go for it. They were right. And things did get better starting around 10th-11th grade for me.

But all this anti-bully campaigning makes me wonder if there isn't another agenda...what exactly is considered bullying nowadays? Saying "I don't like you for such-and-such a reason"? That's not bullying--that's being upfront. We live in an age where it's practically a crime to hurt someone else's feelings...not saying it's acceptable, but then again people need to learn not to be so sensitive and to just blow it off. I often say we don't *need* sensitivity training as people are already too sensitive as it is! People will sue someone at the drop of a hat nowadays because someone said something they didn't like. So I wonder if the anti-bullying thing will somehow be used to stifle free speech/freedom of thought--that's one of my concerns. Sometimes something sounds great, but you have to look ahead and ask yourself, how will this be implemented in the future?

Saying "I don't like [name issue here]" is not bullying. There's quite a difference between saying what you like/don't like and just out-and-out beating the snot out of someone who's not hurting you. You can tell someone you don't like what they do or how they are, but don't rag on them.

Kids are immature. It's always been said that kids are cruel. They have to learn how to deal with things appropriately. And it's up to the parents to teach them.

[LuvSims2011]

LuvSims, there's a couple of things I'm wondering about.

1) If you went back to the principal each time Jared bullied you, do you think there might have been a different result? The few times I've seen the authorities be effective with bullies was when there was some sort of follow through. One talk and the bullying continue s unless the authorities have make it clear that they are keeping an eye on the situation and that there will be consequences.

My son was bullied by "friends" in 4th grade, not physically, but by excluding him in play and by generally being mean. I talked to his teacher about it and she talked to the boy in question. She made him understand in no uncertain terms what would happen to him if she heard of any more incidences. She also spelled out the ways she knew he could be insincere and would not be able to fool her. It went so much further than any general talk and there were no problems after that.

2) I'm wondering what was the motive for the bullying. The boy might have simply enjoyed upsetting you. It sounds like he was also picking on his brother at the same time. I'm wondering if he was jealous of you in some way, if perhaps he had feelings and didn't know the right way to express them so he teased you instead. The fact that he was nice to you later is why I thought of that.

There was a boy in middle school who picked on me pretty badly. He was friends with my boyfriend, but that didn't stop him from teasing me every time he saw me. One time, he complimented something I was wearing. I looked at him and waited for the tease that I assumed was part of the compliment, but to my surprise, that was all there was. I said, "thank you" and realized that all along he would have been flirting with me if he could have gotten away with it. My boyfriend scared a lot of kids.

Now that I'm remembering more, I remember teasing and putting down certain boys I liked. I even did that as a young adult years ago with my current boyfriend. When we first met I was nice to him, but then when he didn't notice me (he had a girlfriend), I fell into a habit of teasing him when I was with him. Sometimes, I got a little mean. I wasn't conscious of my actions; I just thought I was playing with him and it was a way to not reveal my feelings. At one point I stopped myself and asked what I was doing. I realized then that it would make more sense to be nice to him if I wanted to be his friend. You would say, "Duh", but as I said, my original behavior was not anything I began consciously. Good thing I changed my tactics because if we hadn't become friendly, years later I doubt he would have wanted to see me romantically.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. These are good stories and, hopefully, if we keep talking about this, we might get some insight and some solutions.

1) I don't know, I was a little afraid of telling people that a kid was bullying me. I was shy.

2) Maybe it was because of a stupid thing I said to this idiot 5-year-old. (And he WAS an idiot, he would go around in his underwear [even in the snow] and pick on kids older than he was. If you told somebody on him he would say, "She/he's lying! She/he was picking on me!" And you would get in trouble.) And I think that because I remember asking Jared why he was bullying me and he said it was because of that thing I said. Or maybe it isn't, because that might just have been the first thing that came to his mind, so I'm not sure. It seemed like he just wanted to mean to somebody and he picked me to be that person.

Plus, I don't remember much of what happened. Who knows? Maybe there's something he did to me that I'm leaving out. Maybe. :|

[VerDeTerre]

Possibly, LuvSims, but the blame game has to stop somewhere. Even when it comes to dealing with wrong doing, if the focus is on blame and punishment, the results aren't going to be lasting or positive. For change to happen, there needs to be acknowledgment of wrong doing and then a plan to do better. There needs to be a way to maintain sense of self for bully as well as victim.

I don't think it should be anything you should handle alone. 5MOK3 said that she felt that kids standing up for each other didn't stop the bullying, but that it helped the victim to feel supported. If a community stands strong against bullies - doesn't that help? I don't mean one or two people because that never seems to accomplish much. I mean most people.

Alexandra - I agree with you that bullies will target those who they feel are insecure and can make easy victims. Perhaps that's why I've rarely been targeted in my life - I may give off the air of someone who is confident, even when I'm not. I've also seen where bullies depend on the silence and shame of their victims, which is why it's good to be loud and to draw attention to their nasty actions. For example, "Hey! Don't touch me!" But that doesn't work in the example that 5MOK3 gave where the group beat up the boys. Someone, however, was paying attention since the cops were called. There should have been more response from teachers and administrators after an incident like that, however. There should have been school-wide discussions, maybe even an assembly. Everyone who said that bullying should stop is right. It's aggression and we shouldn't tolerate it any more than we tolerate other acts of aggression.

It must take a community that does not tolerate bullying for it to stop. Individuals on their own do not seem to have a great deal of success. First, there must be a certain amount of agreement about what bullying is.

Awareness needs to be raised about the effects of certain actions as well. It bothers me that in a recent discussion I overheard among some freshmen, that some of them just could not understand how devastating it is to someone's sense of self when one or more individuals harasses another. They had no understanding of how it might isolate certain individuals.

I'm not sure why anyone would feel a need to tell someone that they don't like them. It's not bullying in and of itself, but it could be if it were done in a harassing way so as to disrupt the life of the person targeted. Why does everyone feel such a strong need to express his opinion about other people? There was a time when that was considered bad taste. I think it still is, but our society is becoming less civil.

This thread is giving me a lot to think about.

[5M0K3]

Handling bullying by yourself is like having a child battle Hitler.

[AlexandraSpears]

Well, I think you can not like someone and still be a decent person towards them. There's a neighbor across the hall I can't stand, but I'm still polite. No, I don't tell her I don't like her (I probably didn't put that very well).

See, with kids, they're generally not tactful. I know my own child isn't. He has to understand that there's this thing called "tact." He repeats what he hears (he has a speech/developmental delay) so you have to watch what you say around him and how you say it.

You can't make people like others, doesn't matter why they don't like them. All you can do with your kids is tell them, be civil anyway.

You know, in junior high I was tormented big-time. I had other girls whistling at me as if they were calling a dog. I was told countless times that I got beat with the ugly stick (and my husband says they're all liars). I was used as a punching bag a few times and one time this girl jerked me to the ground by my hair. My home life was chaotic--my dad was sick and constantly grouchy, and I put up with a lot of verbal abuse from him as well, the man called me everything but a human being when he went off on his tirades (thankfully I was never physically or sexually abused). But I never, EVER turned to drugs or alcohol or crime or anything like that.

[VerDeTerre]

Something you just said touched off another memory. I've noticed that when someone is at their lowest or most vulnerable, unless they've explained what they are going though, they are likely to be more targeted for criticism or teasing. I've seen this with adults as well. I almost think it was because of your home life that you had the makings of a bully's target and I am so sorry that happened to you.

It also reminds me of something a priest once said, that when someone is being annoying to you it is really a measure of how much pain that individual is in. There's something to that. The message was to consider what someone might be experiencing instead of just reacting. It's not easy to do. In fact, it's easy to forget, but not a bad thing at all to try and practice.

What you were saying about kids and their lack of tact: I remember being in a grocery store with my son when he was very little. We passed by a woman shopping with her young daughter who was in the cart. As we came by, the little girl wrinkled up her nose and drew her body as far away in the cart as she could. As we passed, she made a point of saying loudly to her mother that she didn't like boys. Then she said something else about boys - maybe that they were yucky. Of course I recognized that she was just a little kid, but on an emotional level, I wanted to tell her to screw herself. My boy was precious and no one asked her opinion. But, of course, I didn't. I wondered where a little girl would get such a weird notion. But that wasn't even the worst part. Her mom only repeated her words back to her. She didn't say anything about how hurtful a thing that was to say. I would have been mortified if my son had said anything like that and would have responded immediately.

As you said, you can't force people to like one another, but you sure can insist that they are civil.

[AlexandraSpears]

I was actually very sheltered. My parents were overprotective, and there were some things I should have learned that I learned the hard way. Let's just say I thought deodorant was some faddish thing. *facepalm* It wasn't until a teacher took me aside and explained a few things to me that I started to actually care about my appearance, and this was in 9th grade.

In seventh grade, some boy I didn't know intercepted me on the way home from the bus stop and gave me a black eye (this was in 1985). Supposedly someone had told him that I said something about him. Thing is, I never even knew who he was until he slugged me and I know I didn't say anything about him to anyone. Sometimes people like to instigate fights like that....

I sometimes wonder if my personality is offputting to people somehow. My parents were never the social type as far as I know. My dad, who died in 2000, was as ornery as could be, though happily I was getting along with him just fine before he died...interestingly enough he told me stuff about his illness that he was hesitant to tell my mother or younger sister.

I'm just thankful that my son doesn't appear to be bullied. He's in special education. He's a friendly little guy, but a bit bullheaded.

[VerDeTerre]

You were awkward and a little behind the kids your age, no doubt, but you weren't the first kid to need that deodorant talk. I've seen it before. You would think the parents would say something to their child, but I've seen a lot of children with parents who don't seem to realize that their child has hit adolescence and it's time to wear a bra or address hygiene. Kids that age are often horrible to each other too. They do pick on anyone who stands out in a way that they would be embarrassed about.

Hopefully, your son will continue to be accepted by his peers. I've seen kids be wonderful with the special needs kids, but it depends on what the issue is. The more obvious the disability, the easier it is for the kids to accept odd or oppositional behavior. I think it helps the kids when the adults around them model tolerance and patience.

[AlexandraSpears]

I've noticed that it was never really "cool" to pick on special ed kids, at least not most of them. But my sister was in special ed and I got ribbed on for that. "Your sister is a retard!"

Actually, she's a bit behind the eight-ball. She's almost 38 and our mother has guardianship of her...she thinks on the level of a 12. She's always been jealous of me because I was in accelerated classes, marching band, and the like. (Yet she managed to hack into a computer in junior high.) I'm married with a child; she's still single and most likely will always be. She wants to be like me but can't. And she gets jealous if our mother comes to Ohio (they live in Michigan) to spend a few days with me, my husband, and son...I've told her repeatedly, "hey, you have Mom 24/7, so chill!"

My family's a bit screwed up!

I was acting a bit like a 12 myself until around the time I graduated from high school. I'm surprised (and grateful) my husband's put up with me for so long, as we've been married 18 years, got married when I was 20.

[VerDeTerre]

:) Congrats on your marriage. Given what you said about verbal abuse from your father, you are extra lucky to have a patient husband. I think I allowed so much verbal abuse from my ex because I was used to it from my dad and used to hearing my dad give it to my mom. It's a bad pattern. It's why he's the "ex".

That must be difficult with a sister like that. God bless you for your patience! It must be difficult for her too, wanting to be like you and not being able. Life isn't really fair and it's something we all have to come to terms with.

I wonder if the siblings of our special ed kids get teased? Some of them are just wonderful with their siblings - sometimes too wonderful. I see them taking on adult roles and worry it may be too much for them. But they seem strong.

What is a good way to respond to a taunt like you described: "Your sister is a retard!" ? Is there something to say back that stops that type of taunt? Is there something that could be said that would provoke thought and raise awareness? Is it possible to reach into the hearts of those who are teasing?

[AlexandraSpears]

They have to grow out of it, is my thinking. They have to grow up and realize that there are just some things that people cannot help. Teachers and parents can talk to them until they're blue in the face...and it's not until they've matured a bit that they realize, you know what...they were right.

My sister would have a complete meltdown in the hallway and it took our aunt (who was ALSO in special ed when she was in school) to come to the school and calm her down. One time I heard such an outburst and my math teacher and everyone were looking at me. "Your sister?" my teacher asked.

I wanted to disappear.

And my dad considered arguing to be some kind of a sport. There were times when it was actually funny...but when you think about it....

[Selly_2009]

I too know what it's like to be victimized because of something "I" was supposed to have done. I was in Yr 9 when a boy from school started spitting at me at the school coach stop. When I eventually reported him to my tutor and was backed up by another boy who'd witnessed it, I learnt that supposedly I'd damaged his brother's bike during the summer holidays. News to me - I hardly ever went anywhere in the village because all my school friends lived in the next town! Luckily he apologized and that was the end of it. What really surprised me though was my tutor (or was it my Head of Year? I can't remember) congratulating me on "being brave" - it wasn't bravery, I was just sick of it!
However, I never did find out the reasoning behind the two Yr 11 girls who'd pick on me when I was in Yr 10. Even reporting them didn't work - it only stopped because they left the school at the end of the year.

As for being teased due to having a disabled sister? Nope. The worst it got was having other people staring at us when we were out as a family, and coming second in the sibling stakes (she always got more attention), although it was embarrassing when she had a tantrum in public. But both of those were things I got used to, and it's actually helped. Unlike a lot of people who will talk only to the carer of someone in a wheelchair, I'm more likely to ignore the carer... and speak directly to the wheelchaired person.

Sorry to hear that you had a bad time at school because of your sister Alex. It's bad enough to know a family member is having a tantrum, without having the spotlight fall on you thanks to a teacher's comment!

[Dordracio]

Uhh, no. I was bullied all the time when I was in 6th-10th grade. I had been cyber-bullied before, and it didn't matter to me, because it felt to me like they were too scared to go up to my face and say whatever it was they were saying. In high 10th grade, the teachers talked about cyber-bullying, and I couldn't help but think, "THIS is what worries you? CYBER-frikkin'-BULLYING? When someone is cyber-bullying you, all you have to do, is SIGN OFF." They did not give two shits about the kids getting bullied at school, after school, before school, whatever. If it was over the internet, it was suddenly the 8th deadly sin.

What i ment was its a big case these days

Heres what happens

Someone posts a picture or vid of someone doing somthing embarrassing. Then they put in through the internet or by cellphone. Then when it gets viewed, people might copy the picture and will spread like chipmunks, and if the person who notised what they done and they delete it, its too late because there are copies of the picture and people will look at the copies. And they will bug the person for however how long

[Yazoo]

Cyber bullying is like bullying face to face. Only difference you can't see the person. Some people will get some random IM saying:

"Hey you effin slut"

or hurtful words. Is it right? No. Even if they do sign off, they have this urge to keep going on the site to see who or what is seeing said about them. Because they can't stop, it literally becomes an obsession that can not be cured. Because in their mind they NEED to know what is saying said, and who is saying it. If I were to be cyber-bullied online, that is how I would react no matter how bad it hurt me, I would want to know, no I take that back, I would NEED to know. And worse part, cyber-bullying is contagious, like this horrid epidemic, once it starts, it spreads. Then not only the person that started the bullying is doing it, but people do NOT even know the person begin to chirp in. And then its is literally so bad, that the need not only becomes an obsession but literally an itch.

"What are they saying about me now? Has it stopped? Has anyone began to defend me?"

And more question just shoot their head. What ifs, begin to take a toll as well.

"Well, what if I did this, instead of that."

"What if..."

Bottom line, Cyber-bullying and bullying in general is a good way to have population control, because more people will end their lives then get help. Why? Because they are embarrassed on what is being said about them, that they do not seek help. Or, when they do, they are ignored, and told to get over it. Bullying is a win lose scenario. And here is how:

Win for the bully because their self-esteem went up for two loserific minutes

Lose for the family of the child that was bullied. Lose for the child that was bullied. Lose for the teachers that just stood there and watched it, and didn't speak up. Lose for the world, because they will never know what that child could have became.

If students spoke up, if teachers spoke up, if parents spoke up, if sites that saw the cyber-bullying spoke up, and if the child that was getting bullied spoke up. There probably be less bullying, HOWEVER, it wouldn't end bullying for good. Like I said, bullying is like a sickness once someone has it, it goes around, and it doesn't stop. Until that bullied child is dead, or the bullier finally gets a brain and stops (Which is very rare.)

Just let me ask this question(s):

How many lives will it take for everyone to realize that bullying is a huge issue?! HOW MANY?! Until someone acts on it.

It should have only taken...None. Not one life should have been taken to realize that bullying is a huge issue. After a few hundred, maybe thousand deaths, we are slowly taking action. And it should have been none. Bullying will never stop, but if we can find a way to start making a step, or speaking up. We can save more lives, and see more smiles.

It starts with one voice. Lets be that voice, so that families can see their kid on Christmas, on their birthdays and in their arms. Instead of..Being at their grave site on their birthday.

[5M0K3]

My nephew told me that kids were making fun of him and pushing him into lockers for being Asian. That makes me want to punch every one of those bullies so hard. But nooooo, it's a federal crime.

[Yazoo]

Eh punch them anyway :P Just kidding. It sucks when you are helpless, because You know that you can't help, but you truly want too

[VerDeTerre]

Win for the bully because their self-esteem went up for two loserific minutes


It's less about self-esteem and more about power, the power to make someone else miserable. When people bully, they are trying to hurt someone - it's aggression and meanness.

You seem to be making a point that people take bullying seriously and take action - stand up to it. You want more of a response to bullying than you see generally? I could see this. People for so long have acted as if going through bullying is a rite of passage. And they've excused bad behavior as normal ("boys will be boys"). Definitely, this needs to stop.

[DrowningFishy]

I was actually very sheltered. My parents were overprotective, and there were some things I should have learned that I learned the hard way. Let's just say I thought deodorant was some faddish thing. *facepalm* It wasn't until a teacher took me aside and explained a few things to me that I started to actually care about my appearance, and this was in 9th grade.

I knew a girl in the special education classes who used to get teased and the students used to laugh and say she stunk. I don't really know if she ever did my sense of smell is horrible. In order to help this child the principle ordered the special education teacher to force this child to take a shower at school, and not only that but they washed her clothes. Insert a new special education teacher who had not delt with kids with issues. This girl suffered from axiety, and a crippling social disorder. Imagine what this did to her once word got out what the teachers were forcing her to do. Sure her parents could have helped her but none of them bothered. IN fact I know her mother never listen or she could have sued the school for the damage.

Later on in life she gained a complex from this. For you see she bathed every day before school, and became paranoid about smelling. To the point everytime her monthly came around she couldn't stand to be near anyone for fear of smelling. Everytime someone would say something smell she'd cringe, every time someone said she smelled she'd vanish.

Point is, helping a person being bullied can also hinder them. Any issue about sanitation should be brought up to the parents to handle, if that fails a school nurse is better to handle the situation. With helping a bullied kid NO ONE should be singled out. Except if it is the bulliers who should not know who they are accused of bullying. If truency can get parents arrested, so should bullying. Have a few parents tossed in jail for what their kids did I am certian parents will do more to make sure their kids behave. May sound cruel but bullying is abuse, and assult of sorts. Also parents of bullies should go to parenting classes, parents of bullied kids should be looked at to. If they dont' care or blame the child they should be held accountable to.

Truth be told though you will never get arid of bulling no matter no how. It will always exist in some sorts. Shoot, I go to anime conventions and I STILL see people bullying others.

If you want to bully someone make certian ti's one of your firends and make sure they know you're full of shit before you do so.

[SimsLover50]

My mother was teased for smelling at school, and she did. She was called 'stinky nancy' because, her family was very poor and couldn't afford clothing and bathing every day like other kids. (this was the depression). So she wore the same stuff and she smelled. She also was sick, so in those days they made her wear vicks sab on her chest, which didn't help. These were the days when people wore wool and didn't launder their clothing constantly like we do today. One time, some mean kids paid a boy to kiss her because she smelled.

Later, the teasing went away when she could afford better hygeine. She wasn't unduly traumatized and went on to become miss ohio.

[AlexandraSpears]

Going to school in the 80s, it was considered extremely uncool to buy one's clothes at Kmart. I got picked on because my mother *gasp!* bought me my clothes...and mostly at Kmart.

Actually, I liked what my mother bought me. If someone made a rude comment about it, I told them, "you don't like it, then YOU can buy my clothes!" Usually that shut them right up. Then I had an aunt on welfare (same aunt that calmed my sister down) who bought clothes for my cousin, who was about the same size as me...my cousin turned them down because they weren't designer clothes. Guess who got new clothes? LOL

I remember one time in junior high I was wearing a pastel-colored sweater jacket. Some girl said, "That jacket's for babies." I said, "Well, if it was, it wouldn't fit, would it?"

(I also liked the He-Man and She-Ra cartoons back then. Boy did I ever get ripped on for that....)

As a child I went by "Lexie" at home and "Alexandra" at school. Some kids found out about my nickname and started calling me "Lezzie." In 8th grade I had no idea what that was...and when I did find out.... :faceslap:

[DrowningFishy]

Going to school in the 80s, it was considered extremely uncool to buy one's clothes at Kmart. I got picked on because my mother *gasp!* bought me my clothes...and mostly at Kmart.

Actually, I liked what my mother bought me. If someone made a rude comment about it, I told them, "you don't like it, then YOU can buy my clothes!" Usually that shut them right up. Then I had an aunt on welfare (same aunt that calmed my sister down) who bought clothes for my cousin, who was about the same size as me...my cousin turned them down because they weren't designer clothes. Guess who got new clothes? LOL

I remember one time in junior high I was wearing a pastel-colored sweater jacket. Some girl said, "That jacket's for babies." I said, "Well, if it was, it wouldn't fit, would it?"

(I also liked the He-Man and She-Ra cartoons back then. Boy did I ever get ripped on for that....)

As a child I went by "Lexie" at home and "Alexandra" at school. Some kids found out about my nickname and started calling me "Lezzie." In 8th grade I had no idea what that was...and when I did find out.... :faceslap:

I love route 66 jeans, and IMO they are much more durable. Though sadly Kmart here rarely sells my size (size 8) they usually sizes above. Even in the 90s Kmart clothes wern't cool. Wish I had the wit you had at that age. XD I do now though.

My real name I admitt is April May, yes as in June July. But guess what was big when I was in elementry, Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles. Can you guess what I got teased for. Seariously some how it was April O'Neil jokes and other TTNT jokes, but you know no month jokes. 0_o o_0 Though learning my months was hard because I wouldn't be paying attention then I'd randomly blurt what on either April, May, or June. :faceslap:

[Dordracio]

My real name I admitt is April May:

:pedobearface:

Jk lol i always thought as you as a guy lol. Your avatar tricked me

[DrowningFishy]

:pedobearface:

Jk lol i always thought as you as a guy lol. Your avatar tricked me

Don't worry, it happens in real life too. -_-() But don't you read posts around here XD I posted enough pics of myself on here. Refer you to what made your day thread for one more on top.

PS: Pedobear only likes little boys and girls, not us people in limbo between not quite young and not old yet.