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Lab Assistant
Original Poster
#1 Old 28th Jul 2012 at 3:31 AM
Default What do you think of this chapter/idea for a story? Should I write more?
I have an idea for a story and I wrote an intro and I wonder if I should write more or tweak it or scratch it all together.

The world is in a war against flesh eating zombies, forcing families to band together to survive. This is the story of three close friends, Alex, Jamie, and Sean, who are forced to make a tough decision that will put them and their families in danger.

Alex
I walk through the tunnels under the city of L.A. I wasn't supposed to be here, but me and my friends have been meeting here since we were little. Normally the tunnel would have been filled with soldiers or officials or insane people who spew their conspiracies around, talking nonsense of how we're being lied to or how we've been forgotten and the government has moved on to bigger and better things. But this particular tunnel was closed down due to budget cuts. All of a sudden I hear a door open and panic. If I'm caught I'll be arrested, maybe even beaten. But to my relief it's Jamie and Sean. "Calm down Al. It's just us," Jamie says walking towards me. "Ready to go to your place?" I ask Sean. He nods and we walk through the tunnels to where we exit to the surface. We tramp through the weeds in Sean's backyard and slip inside. When we get there his parents are talking softly and look worried. "What's going on?" Sean asks them. His parents tell us to go to his room while they talk. A bit later Sean slams into the room. "Guys. We gotta talk," he says. "My parents have had a secret for years. My mom has relatives that are, well, they have zombie blood in their system. My parents aren't fighting against the zombie's side, they're fighting for it. And they want us to help them." His words shock me. "Are they crazy?!" I scream. Jamie remains silent. "What if we say no?" Jamie finally pipes up. "Well, that's where it gets dangerous. They know we've been in the tunnel." I glance at them. We can get in serious trouble. They might even call the police. "What do we do?" I whisper scared.

Please let me know what you think. :P

:) <3 :) <3
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Test Subject
#2 Old 12th Aug 2012 at 3:10 PM
was the sun out, or was it a cloudy day? it felt a lil like a zombie blog. but i liked it in that way.
Interstellar Traveler
#3 Old 14th Aug 2012 at 10:51 PM
Awesome job! Yes, you should definitely keep writing! You only have one opportunity with writing, and I don't want you to lose it!

One thing, when writing out the dialogue.. make sure you "Enter" after the character is done talking or it is switching to another character's dialogue. Though, you do not have to "enter" if the next sentence relates to the characters thoughts or actions.. or if they are about to speak again after the sentence. Also, if you are doing this in Word of another writing program, this would be a start of another paragraph.. so you would "TAB"

I would love to see more from you one day!

Formally SeeMyu | Retired Mod
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