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Theorist
Original Poster
#1 Old 2nd Jul 2009 at 6:52 AM
Default The Golden Girls: Funny Quotes
Now, you may not watch or even heard of the Golden Girls but I watch it everyday and I like it. It's very funny . Below are some of my favorite quotes from the show. If you find one that makes you laugh, quote it.



Blanche: I do love the rain so. It reminds me of my first kiss.
Dorothy: Ah, your first kiss was in the rain?
Blanche: No, it was in the shower.

Rose: You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die.

Sophia: Rose, just remember, you're smarter than people say you are. You've got good sense, and you know what you're doing.
Rose: Oh, Sophia.
Sophia: Blanche, you're a slut.
Blanche: Oh, Sophia.

[In a darkened movie theatre]
Rose: I wonder what kind of movie this is...
[Off-camera sounds of woman screaming in horror and roaring chainsaw]
Dorothy: It's a musical, Rose.

Contractor: Do you want it fast or do you want it good?
Sophia: Before you answer that, Blanche, the man's talking about a guest room.

Dorothy: [the girls visit a birthing center] What kind of idiot would want to give birth here?
Rose: This place makes me want to run out and get pregnant!

Blanche: What was your first impression of me?
Rose: I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. I was wrong. You don't wear too much makeup.

Sophia: Blanche, a terrible thing has happened to you. But when life does something like this, there are a couple of things you got to remember. You got your health, right?
Blanche: Yeah.
Sophia: You can still walk, can't you?
Blanche: That's true.
Sophia: Great, go get me a glass of water

Rose: I've been on the phone for a half hour and you'll never guess what happened.
Dorothy: You realized you forgot to dial first.
Rose: No.
Blanche: You were holding the receiver the wrong way.
Rose: No.
Dorothy: You were talking into the TV remote instead of the phone.
Rose: No.
Blanche: A shoe?
Rose: No, I'm not an idiot. - The TV has a remote?


[Blanche comes into the kitchen. Rose can't see her]
Blanche: I am nothing but a disgusting cheap slut.
Rose: Don't tell me... it's Blanche

Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.

[Jean, a lesbian, is visiting]
Dorothy: Ma, did Jean sleep with you last night?
Sophia: Dorothy, there are a lot of things I wanna try before I die, but that's not one of them!

[after a leaky night, Rose comes out of her room carrying a bucket]
Dorothy: Aw, Rose, did you have a leak in your room too?
Rose: No, Dorothy. I was just milking the cow I keep in my closet. Wow, with only three hours of sleep, I can be as bitchy as you!

Dorothy: We're here to pay for a funeral.
Mr. Pfeiffer: Oh, isn't that nice, the three of you planning ahead for mother.
Sophia: [walks a little bit closer] Hey Puh-feiffer, how would you like a punch in your puh-face?

Dorothy: [Sophia has rented a porno] Hi, Ma. Whatcha watching?
Sophia: I dunno, one of those Steven Spielberger movies.
Dorothy: That's not a Steven Spielberg? *What* are they doing?
Sophia: You know what they're doing. We had that talk when you were twelve.
Dorothy: Ma, I can't believe this! You rented a dirty movie?
Sophia: Dirty is in the eye of the beholder... OK, maybe *that's* a little dirty

[Rose and Blanche are practicing for a Sound of Music play. Blanche is pretending to be standing on a balcony while Rose runs in yelling her lines]
Rose: [running into the room] The Nazis are coming! The Nazis are coming!
Sophia: [dashing in from the kitchen] Everybody grab a gun and go to the basement!


Sophia: If I met a man who was over seventy but still looked half-way decent, I'd be on my back faster than you could say, "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Blanche: [to Sophia] My mistake. I thought since you look like Yoda you were also wise.


Oh, my fave one is:

Quote:
[Rose and Blanche are practicing for a Sound of Music play. Blanche is pretending to be standing on a balcony while Rose runs in yelling her lines]
Rose: [running into the room] The Nazis are coming! The Nazis are coming!
Sophia: [dashing in from the kitchen] Everybody grab a gun and go to the basement!

~~~The Official Nintendork Island~~~
"I cannot love you like this anymore..... Alejandro"
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Mad Poster
#2 Old 2nd Jul 2009 at 7:00 AM
Love the last one.

"When life gives you lemons, see the lemons, feels the lemons, BE THE LEMONS!"

Take a look-see, hmm...? Go on, click them:
The Super Mario Project, Nintendorks Island-Celebrating 2 Years Online!
Theorist
Original Poster
#3 Old 2nd Jul 2009 at 7:01 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Rapsheba555
Love the last one.

That episode was on today

~~~The Official Nintendork Island~~~
"I cannot love you like this anymore..... Alejandro"
 
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