#2
18th Nov 2011 at 9:31 AM
I've got a lot of rules and I actually follow them, unless it suits the story in my head to deviate from the commandments.
1. If thou dost expel flatulence within the hearing of His Imperial Majesty, then thy life is forfeit.
2. Thou Shalt not enter The Imperial Chambers, or thy life is forfeit.
3. If the Imperial Consort deignst to lie with another, then their life is forfeit.
4. If the Imperial Consort lie's with another, and there is issue, then upon reaching appropriate age, both Consort and Bastard are to be put to death.
5. All Female Hero's are Hereby Ordered to Bare the Monarch a Child. Failure to provide His Imperial Majesty with issue, will result in death.
6. All Spouse's of Hero's are hereby ordered to bare the Monarch a Child, failure to do so shall result in death.
7. Any Peteran's caught in the Jacoban Church, shall be force fed poison.
8. By Royal Decree, The Head of the Jacoban Church must Marry Xexys, the Dream Demon.
9. No woman of Green Coloured hair or Skin, shall inherit the throne. she will be married off to the closest Hero at the time of her coming of age to provide a line of pureblood for the Royal Heirs to marry into.
10. By Order of the Watcher, only Redhaired, Green-eyed MEN, shall assume the position of the head of the Peteran Church.
11. By Royal Decree, all spies shall be named Ezio Auditore da Firenze.
12. By Royal Decree, all Wizards shall resemble, and be named, Voldemort.
13. By Imperial Mandate, All Servants caught serving food to fat citizen's/Hero's shall be put to death, along side their rotund customer's.
14. No Fat Chicks.
15. No female who *inherits* the throne is allowed to become impregnated with a commoner's child. She is Ordered to Choose a male (Or Female) of Noble Birth and become heavy with child. Preferable a Male Child.
16. Male Royal Bastards are moved to the head of the line of Succession by Right of having a penis.
17. Any Jester found performing in the throne room shall be force fed poison.
18. By Order's of the Watcher, only one female child of royal birth per generation shall survive infancy.
19. By Blood Law of the Watcher, any new Monarch who assumes the throne after the previous Monarch's heirs are unable to inherit, must produce a child with one of the living heirs, and upon the child reaching majority, must immediately starve themselves to death, thus insuring the continuation of the Diving Bloodline.
20. Should tragedy strike and the Divine Bloodline is lost, each Hero, starting with the Commander of the Army, must produce a child with their 1st Neighbouring Hero (going clockwise) and then give the child to the 2nd Neighbouring Hero to mate with. This must continue until the Child of the Eye of Jacob mates with the Head of the Peteran Church, who is the Physical Embodiment of The Watcher. That child is to be mated with the Current Emperor Regent, and their Child shall continue the Divine Bloodline.
21. The Monarch is Encouraged to sleep with each Hero and have a multitude of children so that Commandment 20 does not have to be taken into effect.
*All Monarch's, male and female, are encouraged to take a Male as spouse, to keep the bloodline Strong and pure.