Let's turn the debate around. For thousands of years heterosexuals have gotten married and often made a complete mess of it. Not only are the vast majority of unhappy and abused children the product of heterosexual marriages, heterosexuals are increasingly getting married only to end their marriages in divorce. By many common metrics, heterosexuals suck at marriage.

So should heterosexual marriages be called marriages? Should heterosexuals be trusted to marry at all? What about the children of heterosexuals - should we be wary of the heterosexual agenda? Heterosexuals are well known for having significant percentages of their members as bigots, criminals, and the like? Should we trust heterosexuals with children? What about Romantic Comedies - I don't think they should properly be called comedies or romantic. And what's with softballs, they're pretty hard if they hit you in the face. Why are they called that?

We can't allow heterosexuals to marry! If we allow people of different sexes to marry, then they'll want to marry things of different species! It's right in the name - hetero - that they want to be able to marry cats! The women who married the Eiffel Tower was straight because she thought that the tower was masculine, so obviously hets want to marry towers because they're different! STOP THIS DIFFERENT-MARRIAGE MADNESS! STOP THE STRAIGHT AGENDA!

And why do drive-through ATMs have braille on them?

At least this one is easy. The machine used for the drive through is the same make and model as those used in the bank for walk-up service. It just depends on where they install it.

I went to heterosexual lunch today. I'm not sure how I live with myself.

Ugh, that's so straight! You're all so straight for even saying this!

>:{

A guy in my sister's class in elementary through junior actually did a goat. True story, there was a witness. For some reason the guy called his friend to watch him. The friend (my friend's older brother) FREAKED out and called his mom to come get him.

Pics or it didn't happen.

I'm just kidding around, guys.

Heterosexual marriage should be called what it really is: Gambling. You're betting someone half your stuff that you'll love them forever.

And that they'll love you forever....

And casinos generally have better odds.

Let's face it, just to be not-silly for a bit: Humans just suck at monogamy. We force ourselves to do something that is, in fact, unnatural, especially if you look at all of our closest relatives, and then put it up on some sort of idealized pedestal and then get all disappointed when it doesn't work when, in fact, it was set up to not work from the get-go, pretty much. It'd almost be funny if it wasn't so tragic.

I saw this chick today, holy shit, she was straighter than a dancing pole. Disgusting. What are we gonna tell our children?

That last bit --
And isn't the Eiffle Tower feminine? And what about the show I saw on TV where a pair of dogs (yes, male & female) were married by a MINISTER? O, well I don't suppose it was actually legal.

And yes, why are so many separate threads about gays and/or marriage? Is someone obsessing?

Animal abuse!!!!!

Some people are. Some people are very concerned with people's genital activities. Me? I'm still pretty fascinated with my own, but some people want to know.

/sarcastic font on/

It wouldn't make any sense to let straights marry. I mean they can't even reproduce "naturally". Their children are freaks! I bet they didn't conceive them with the help of a doctor.

Such monstrosities! Vote "No" on Prop 8 1/2. Remember only adopted test-tube children are natural.

/sarcastic font off/

In the French language, the tower is feminine, but the woman who married it considered it masculine.

In the US, the Supreme Court is deliberating on whether or not it's unconstitutional to deny marriage equality. Since this could mean that our hard work getting marriage rights has finally paid off, a lot of people have those subjects at the forefront of their brains.

Marriage equality.

So I guess marriage equality is really the right of everyone to be miserable.

Marriage should always be for one man and one woman that is how it should be.

Why? What is your reason for this?

God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

If God had created (yes, lets run with the God theory for this) two men, or two women, then the human race would have died out. You need one of each to reproduce (do I need to do a whole sex-ed thing here?), but that does not mean you need one of each to fall in love or get married.

Also, I thought this thread was real when I saw the title, and I was like "How are people so stupid?" lol!

And.... There are drive-thru ATM's in the US? Does nobody walk anywhere over there?

Don't worry Captain. I'm pretty sure that people were being humorous in suggesting that a man and a woman oughtn't to be allowed to marry. Certainly in all the countries with equal marriage laws, and in all the US states with such laws, heterosexuals do marry. So you've nothing to worry about, really.

Now if someone were to pass a law saying you couldn't marry, I can see how you might lose your sense of humor about it pretty fast! You wouldn't consider it a very funny position to be in.

So, some credit is due to people who are in that position and are able to attempt to maintain a good mood about it.

Actually, according to Christianity, God created all people. That means that, in the US in this generation, God created ~400,000 Adams, ~20,000 Eves, and ~380,000 Steves. Which works out nicely, because that means that every Adam gets either an Eve or a Steve.

The moral of the story: make a stupid meaningless argument, get a stupid and meaningless counterargument which also makes you look like a bit of a tit.

I shit you not. Those numbers were so damn lucky. Sauce.

Adam, Eve, and Lilith. Lilith was Adam's first wife, Eve was the second. Except Lilith got booted from the garden because she wanted to actually be equal to Adam.

But yeah; marriage should totally be for one man and one woman. The bible says that only a heterosexual couple can marry and that polygamy is totally wrong. Just look at these verses:

Genesis 4:19
And Lamech took unto him two wives.

Genesis 16:1-4
Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. And Sarai ... gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived.

Genesis 25:6
But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had....

Genesis 26:34
Esau ... took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite.

Genesis 31:17
Then Jacob rose up, and set ... his wives upon camels.

Exodus 21:10
If he take him another wife....

Deuteronomy 21:15
If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated....

Judges 8:30
And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives.

1 Samuel 1:1-2
Elkanah ... had two wives; the name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah.

2 Samuel 12:7-8
Thus saith the LORD God of Israel ... I gave thee ... thy master's wives....

1 Kings 11:2-3
Solomon ... had seven hundred wives ... and three hundred concubines.

1 Chronicles 4:5
And Ashur the father of Tekoa had two wives, Helah and Naarah.

2 Chronicles 11:21
Rehoboam ... took eighteen wives, and threescore concubines.

2 Chronicles 13:21
But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives....

2 Chronicles 24:3
Jehoiada took for him two wives....

Mt.25:1
Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

As you can see, the bible totally supports one man/one woman.