Aww. Picture six makes me smile.

"I slept in the guest room down the hall, but no one really knew that I snuck into his room in the middle of the night"

These feel like they don't need to be attached. I mean, they do, but they don't. It's like 'Cindy loves Coke, but nobody knows that she hates Pepsi.' You COULD connect them, but it doesn't sound quite right. I think it would be better if it was like 'I slept in the guest room down the hall, but I would sneak into his room in the middle of the night...etc.' or something.

"But I seem to be very attractive to bad luck."

This made me sort of tilt my head. It's slightly awkward. I'd like to see it as like 'But I seem to attract a lot of bad luck' or something. D= I don't have a way with words. This would be a lot easier in french. 'Chance mauvaise je m'adore.' Heey. 'Bad luck loves me.' Maybe 'But bad luck seems to love me.' Something along those lines.

"um'

Is it um...or uh? Clare always struck me as an 'uh' person.


"so strong laughter"

You could put a that after strong, but it's fine the way it is.


I couldn't find a lot wrong with this.

AHAHA, oh that last chapter's my favourite so far :D

too much touchy feely? NO IT WASNT!!!! lol

Not to intrude but sandra do you know the author personally? your editorials are rather rude.

Nah, I appreciate it. =) She's a good friend of mine. No worries.

=( They always do that, don't they?

I didn't think I was rude. Was I? If it was I'd hate to see how people describe my reviews of other peoples' work.

Sandra its not that your rude but I think the corrections you make take away from how fantastic this story really is. We come here becuase were hooked on the characters and her writing style. It just seems like a negative thing to throw in that could be otherwise handled in PM if its constructive ya know. No offence and not trying to start any problems. I just want star to know how much we love this story exactly how she writes it without worrying if her speech or grammar are perfect.

Wow, great chapter. I loved it and I love the couple! Shame they're together else I'd nab one for myself. Great update! And I loved their explanation xD

Thats hilarious! Keep writing, I want to hear more about the play abouta two headed, four armed, four legged monster thats so big it can't get up, yet is able to break into dance!

Best... fangirly quote... EVER!!

Sandra, you'll never get off our backs First it was me, now Lyric... we just like to defend our authors

Awesome updates. Especially chap 2.

EDIT: Lyric, don't worry about it Robin doesn't find it rude, and she appreciates the criticism, she did all through Consequences of Consequences and Funhouse Mirrors, so my advice is to just leave it.

EDIT again: Sandra, your avatar and sig makes me drool

-gaspeth- Wonderful, just... wonderful. I had waited long for the sequel, and now it's here. It's awesome... fantastic way to start. Keep it up =D

o___o update?

...update?!?!?!?!?
UPDATE?@?!?!?!?aofwiuwe

*searches frantically. Flails and falls over disappointed*

The next update won't be coming for a while. I have a virus on my computer that doesn't allow me to use the internet, so I can't get my pictures up here. I'm using a borrowed laptop right now.

I'm sorry. I'll try and get it working as soon as I can.

At long last, Chapter Three!

Chapter Three – Decisions

I slept in Clare's bed again that night. It had become an extremely addictive habit, and I loved it. I loved waking up next to him in the morning, as ridiculous as that sounds, as much as falling asleep to the sounds of his breathing and his heartbeat, his chest rising and falling against my own, and for the first time in my life I was totally and utterly at peace with all things, even my mother and her hate for me.
And I bet you’re getting sick of how cheesy this is by now, right?



But nights were short and days were long, and Clare's father started checking in on us more and more frequently than usual. Occasionally he would ask how our play was coming. Eventually we told him we'd dropped it.
One day a few weeks later he came in while Clare had just gotten it into his heart to start packing. The rest of the house was all in boxes except for the fridge and the table and a few chairs and the TV. Clare was going slow, because he wanted Mr. D.'s answer on my company.
I could tell he had the answer as soon as he came in. The look on his face. He looked almost... bitter.
But I guess anyone would be bitter after talking to my mother. She could bring a lampshade to tears.



"I spoke with both of your mothers," he said to us in a voice that was rough and deep, not like its usual rich tone. "Clarence's mother demanded I let you come, so I called your mother up on the home phone, left a message asking about it."
Just so you get this, can you imagine that phone message? "Hey, I'm moving next week, can I bring your kids? God knows if you'll ever see them again, but there probably won't be any adoption papers, so come take them if you want. I just want a yes or no before I get planning on it, so be a doll and call sometime, m'kay?"
And the problem was my mother wouldn't be the least bit offended or anything. It was actually a pretty normal message, all things considered.
But anyway...
"She called back this morning and gave us the okay to take you both."
Clare was cheering. I was on my feet even though I couldn't see and I was crying and laughing like an idiot, and Mr. D. eyed us uncertainly for a second before he turned and left.



I hardly waited for his father to leave before I pounced on Clare, the only think I could think to do in this euphoria. We were leaving. I was out of here, out of this place, this dingy, God-obsessed town, away from my mother, and the pain she caused. It was over.
But it wasn't over.
Because consequences echo into forever.



-- End of Chapter Three

Aww, sweet. Yay! Now Clare can go with them! ^__________^

D'aw, yay :D

Woop! They can be togetherrrr. I love Clare's eyes in the last picture ^^

Way-ell, this could work out, with one major condition ... Jareth has to play it cool with Clare in Clare's house if there is any chance at all that another household member will see them. If Clare's door can be locked in his new home, they will have to make sure it STAYS locked when the two of them are snuggling. No exceptions. No "just this time". No loud romantic noises. (I'm presuming that sooner or later, they may decide to be much more intimate.)

If Clare's door CANNOT be locked, it's going to get pretty hairy with two hormonally-charged people who definitely are in the mood for love. And with Clare's dad popping in constantly ... I think he suspects something might be up. I don't get the impression he will be too fond to find out that those two have the hots for each other. And if Jareth isn't careful, he might find himself shipped right back to dear ol' Mom.

Those two will just have to constantly remember that it won't be long until they can attend college together or get their own place. If they are over 18 and settled in their own place, Jareth's Mom or Clare's parents will not have any say in the matter. Problem is ... can those two wait and NOT screw everything up before then? Those months before they go to school or are able to move out will seem awfully long!

But that's what I guess we'll have to see as this story unfolds.

GREAT UPDATE....*looks back though the thread*...I never commented on this???!!!! I can't belive it! I just wanted to tell you that I've read the original and now am reading this one and it's really good! Keep up the great work!

Gallows ^^"

God, I'm SO sorry this is taking so long. The whole story is written, I swear. It's all on a document.

I'm moving and my computer doesn't work. It's becoming increasingly difficult to find time to get this up, let alone get a hold of the pictures in the first place.

I'll try to update this weekend, if I can find the time.

Just as long as you haven't abandoned this story. Stuff happens in the real world.

Hope you can get back to your regularly scheduled life as soon as possible. Moving CAN turn your life upside-down.

Yeah Sta_r_obin, everythings okay, so long as you sometime update. Moving is a big deal, and lots of times stuff gets mixed up and it gets very hectic. Its real great you've been able to say so, rather than leaving everyone hanging. Thanky you very much.

Chapter Four – Moving

It didn't take us long to pack up Clare's room. He didn't have as much stuff as it looked like - most of it was clothing and books. We hung around and talked about things, stupid things, half-baked schemes and the like.
"Do you ever think your sister is going to forgive me?" I asked, and, though I didn't know it at the time, his sister was much more important than I thought.
"She's acting really freaky about the whole thing, but I know she'll cool down eventually. Girls are weird."
I opened my mouth to reply, perhaps even to agree, when Clare's mother rapped on the door.
"Everything's all packed up except for your stuff. Haul it out and we're ready to go."
She might have said more if Christie hadn't barreled in and hugged us both to death.



I always found it odd how no one noticed just how close Clare and I were. The whole way there we fought for the right to sit next to each other. It was that touchy-feely stage that most couples (ahh just saying we're a couple makes me feel all twingy-good inside, lame as that is) get when they last long enough. It wasn't quite where things went all wrong with most kids; but it was close, so close.
The trip took five days. And then we arrived.



"Welcome home!" said Clare's mom in that sugary-sweet voice of hers, throwing open her arms as if exposing something grand and beautiful.
And it was beautiful.
Clare hadn't been kidding when he said the house was right on the coast. It WAS right on the coast. The waves rolled up and nearly touched the support stands underneath it. The beach around us was barren and warm, and the little house seemed so out-of-place I thought for a moment that maybe this was a mistake. But it wasn't a mistake, and if it had been it would have been a beautiful mistake.



"You've got to see the other side of the house," Clare whispered in my ear. "That's the impressive part. It's what convinced me that we'll love it here."
"Your parents..." I began.
"They don't mind. We leave all of the time. And it's not like we're going to try and sneak into town or something - it's fifteen miles away!"
I blushed now, embarrassed and frustrated. "Would now be a bad time to tell you I'm just a little bit afraid of deep water?"
He smiled at me. "Have you ever seen the ocean?"



He had seduced me. I followed him around to the back of the house, treading carefully on the sand. The tide was in, and was as close to the house as it would get, Clare promised me. I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night hip-deep in water.
It was breathtaking. He hadn't been kidding. For a minute I forgot how terrifying dark, deep water was. It looked harmless and beautiful glistening like that in the sun.
"Jesus!" I said. "It's beautiful!"
He was grinning at me. "I told you it would be."
And, not for the first time, I couldn't believe my luck. Like my fear of water, I forgot all about how luck comes in cycles, rolling along on the waves of consequence.



-- End of Chapter Four

And I promise that things are going to happen in the next chapter. Yes, actual THINGS! =D

I cant wait for these THINGS to come XDD nice chapter, keep 'em comin! ♥♥♥

Nice, waiting for new update shortly...

Oiyoioi. >> Well, good news is that I'll at least be living most of the time in my new house by the end of next week. I'll be updating either this weekend or the next. That's right! I haven't forgotten everyone!