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Banned
Original Poster
#1 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 4:07 AM
Default Funneh Stories
As you all know, I went to Flordia but I didn;t tell you that my Grandma was taking me, and if Grandmas involved (and a dash of Vodka) ITS STORY TIME!


My Great Uncle Frank, who was an alchoholic, was in the park with my Grandma way back in the fourties. They had a really old fashioned port-a-potty (with an aparently large hole that was dug into the ground) and he went in. Some how, he fell in and he almost drown. This mad almost drowned in a bunch of strangers waste. Needless to say, it scared the shit outta him.

I laughed so hard that I choked on my food and we got some really odd looks from everyone. It made my night.
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Scholar
#2 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 6:53 AM
*face of disgust*

*coughs, chokes, then throws up*

This is one of those storys you can't "put yourself into their shoes" without puking.

YES, I is a Nintendork!
I'm not a morning person. or an afternoon person. Acutally, im not an "anytime of the day" person.
Theorist
#3 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 6:58 AM
Oo" Omgosh

~~~The Official Nintendork Island~~~
"I cannot love you like this anymore..... Alejandro"
Forum Resident
#4 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 7:24 AM
Aw, jeez, and my chocolate/diarrhea reference was gross!
*shudders*
Banned
Original Poster
#5 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 8:02 AM
Yes, very gross. Dude was completly tramatized, he kinda lost it after that. I guess its more sad...

Oh what the heck, I'll laugh anways....

Scholar
#6 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 8:07 AM

$$$ MONEY!!!!!! :D
Typical
#7 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 4:20 PM
Man... he must have smelled quite bed!!!
Mad Poster
#8 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 6:37 PM
0.o'

*grossed out*
I aim to misbehave
retired moderator
#9 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 6:40 PM

Check out my tutorials: For TS4: Eyelashes and for TS2: Eyes and Eyes 2
-My Insta-

Please, call me Nina (:
Mad Poster
#10 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 7:15 PM
similar story, woman dropped her cell phone in the similar port-a-potty and she said who ever retrieves it she will pay them. 3 guys tried and died. Why? Poopy fumes are poisonous. True story.
Banned
Original Poster
#11 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 7:16 PM
My thoughts exactly!

Ana, I would have just left my phone. That is gross... but HILARIOUS
Typical
#12 Old 25th Jun 2009 at 7:16 PM
Mad Poster
#13 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:36 PM Last edited by RiBlan : 26th Jun 2009 at 5:50 PM.
"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for her camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"

"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."

"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What do you mean by $500?"
I aim to misbehave
retired moderator
#14 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:42 PM
You've said that she ran for YOUR camera!!

Check out my tutorials: For TS4: Eyelashes and for TS2: Eyes and Eyes 2
-My Insta-

Please, call me Nina (:
Zombie Socks
#15 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:44 PM
I love the last one the best! Aahahahaha! REVENGE!

Nintendork Island | Please call me WWW!| Despite what avatar says, loves all of mts <3
Mad Poster
#16 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:49 PM
WHOOPS! *edits*
Mad Poster
#17 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:51 PM
This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death.
However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself,and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground.

Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real ------- when you're drunk!"
Zombie Socks
#18 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:53 PM
I've heard that one before.

Nintendork Island | Please call me WWW!| Despite what avatar says, loves all of mts <3
Mad Poster
#19 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:55 PM
Darn.
Mad Poster
#20 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 5:56 PM
A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.
Zombie Socks
#21 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 6:04 PM
*laughs her ass off* That is PRICELESS!

Nintendork Island | Please call me WWW!| Despite what avatar says, loves all of mts <3
Banned
Original Poster
#22 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 7:57 PM
These are great RI
Mad Poster
#23 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 8:13 PM
Thankies!
I aim to misbehave
retired moderator
#24 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 8:14 PM
Yep! They're great!! :D

Check out my tutorials: For TS4: Eyelashes and for TS2: Eyes and Eyes 2
-My Insta-

Please, call me Nina (:
Mad Poster
#25 Old 26th Jun 2009 at 11:34 PM
Revenge of a woman(true story)

Woman catches her husband with another girl. She is obviously upset and furious but figures what can she do? she tells her husband," I guess this is it. If you love her be with her." Husband goes," I am glad you are taking it so well but I want two of us to live in this apartment." His wife goes," Okey give me a week to take all my things and say good bye to this place, because I have so many memories." Husband agrees and him an his new girlfriend leave. She pack and such and when her week is over she decides to have a little party. She buys champagne, shrimps and caviar. She turn on the candles and watches romantic comedies all night. When it is time to go, she sighs and looks around the apartment. She dips her last shrimp in a caviar and take a lid of the curtain rod, puts it in there and closes it. She sighs again and leaves the apartment locking the door behind her.

next day her ex husband and his girl move in. Few months down the line their apartment starts stinking. They don't know why. they keep washing apartment every day but it keeps stinking. Guests stopped coming over. Some neighbors moved. They called exterminator her found nothing. They even called the exorcist, even he found nothing. So they tried to sell the apartment and move out(mind you the apartment is one of the huge expensive ones) No one would buy it because of the stink. Eventually prise went down to $1000. His ex wife comes along and she says, "I really miss the apartment, so I will buy it from you." Happy ex husband sell his ex wife the apartment and him and his girl start moving to different place.

On the day when they were taking out last bits and pieces, his ex wife comes along with her suitcases. She sees the mover carrying the last little bits of furniture. She smirks as she sees one of them carry the curtain rods.
 
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