Got an interesting/funny/gruesome story about an injury of yours/someone you know?

If you're squeamish then you may want to turn back!

Reason I thought of it is because I just gave myself the biggest papercut of my life. If the culprit hadn't have been a calendar with puppies on then I might have thrown it to the floor and stomped on it. That's not my worst injury, obviously (although it is slightly inconvenient given it's on the pad of my middle finger and I'm trying to type essays - I touchtype and keep pressing keys with it by accident), I have two which are probably on a par with each other as winners:

Most gory: When I was 5 I was at the beach and trod on a piece of broken glass that was in the sea which sliced the underneath of my foot open. I don't remember the pain. I just remember looking at the sole of my foot and it looked like it was inside out. My mum wrapped my foot in a towel, and we got in my uncle's - who was really panicking! - car and he raced us to the doctors. I got butterfly stitches and couldn't walk properly for a few weeks.
Most painful: Second contender was when I fell downstairs last November (2009) and bruised my coccyx. I've never been in so much pain. I could barely walk for about a week and it was constant agony. I had to either lie down with a pillow under my thighs to keep that bit elevated, or sit leaning really far forward. The worst thing was, the day after I did it - which was the most painful - I had to get into uni to hand an essay in. Thank god it's only a 2 min walk to the bus stop but then I had to hobble over there, sit uncomfortably on a bus, walk up two flights of stairs and then repeat that process to get back! Not pleasant.

Hmmm..

Well, my worst was when I fell off my bike onto an old, rusty, rickety train track. Doesn't sound too bad? Well, I didn't just fall- I flipped over the handlebars. And I didn't land on the whole track- just one rail of it. I ended up with a big, big wound on my knee that was bleeding everywhere. What made it worse is that I wasn't home, I was out of town and had to go back home to get it taken care of. There was all kinds of dirt and rust ground into this wound and I had to go back once a week for 3 weeks to get it debrided (spelling?)- which, in my case, means that the dr peeled off any scab that had formed and scrubbed the whole area to get more of the dirt and rust out. Which hurt like hell and also took off some of the skin. This was 30 years ago and I still have black spots in the scar thanks to dirt that was in there too deep to get out.

My most painful was the same as el_flel's. Except I broke mine. Which also makes it my most funny- you always hear people saying they "busted their ass" doing something. How many people can say that they honestly broke theirs mowing the lawn? (Mowing the lawn? Impossible you say? Not so impossible when you put a tractor tire and a naturally clumsy person in the same yard..)

I might be clumsy, but I've only had one major injury. Breaking my collarbone.

I suspect I probably injured mine worse than I originally thought but never bothered going to the doctors because I know they can't do anything about it. I don't know recent yours is but mine still hurts when I sit at a funny angle. It might have been better if someone was around to witness the fall (from the top to about three from the bottom) but I was home alone.

I think my answer to this is more a case of injuries I haven't incurred *rolls eyes*

I've broken any number of bones - my leg, my arm a couple of time, fingers, toes, ribs. Broken my nose a couple of times too. My worst of all those was my leg. When I was little I was up on my cousins' farm and we were out trying to cross the (thankfully dry) irrigation channels. I was too small to jump across so my cousins tried to lift me - one on either side passing me across. The cousin trying to hand me over slipped, dropped me into the bottom of the channel and then landed on top of me - my leg was straight across with daylight underneath and her full weight came down on top. Worst of it was that being a stubborn little bugger (nothing has changed...*laughs*) I kept trying to walk on it so nobody thought there was really much wrong with me. Mum took me to the doctor the following day to discover that I had a 2 1/2 inch spiral fracture of my tibia. Dislocated a few things - my jaw, my shoulder, my hip (several times).

I've had a few knee injuries - torn ligaments, torn menisci. Lots of bad bruises - I was once bitten in the thigh by a donkey - thankfully it was freezing cold and raining so all my waterproofs stopped her from breaking the skin, but I was black from hip to knee. Lots of cuts too - I once sliced the side off my middle finger while chopping carrots (*note to self...NEVER chop veggies when you're in a temper*)

And, I don't know if it counts as an injury or not - I guess in a way it does as it was the result of my knee injuries - my CRPS.

Well I got a broken wrist at the moment, inconvenient, but not the worst.

When I was 17 I was driving my Puch mopet at about 60km/hour. It was on one of the hottest days of May and I had only a t-shirt and hotpants on. I slipped on the road going through a corner over the bridge in my parents village. Grinded with the total left side of me over the road before I came to a stop. This ended in the biggest abrasion/avulsion wound ever seen in history. My skin was grated from my ankles to my chin, left arm and leg completely open. Had to walk home with heavy mopet, bleeding like crazy. I will never forget my dad's face as he saw me walk up the gardenpath. After that my parents spent a few hours with pincers taking all the little stones and such from the wounds. (Dad's a GP, mom a nurse.)

It healed up pretty well, took a bit.. very hard not to scratch that big an abrasion. Was a bit sad for a friend of mine who I had promised that I would walk for his graduation fashion show 2 days later. Threw him into a bit of a nervous breakdown right on top of all the stress of graduation. Luckily he got over that on the day itself.

Close to the end of my 6th grade year, my entire band out did itself at a competition. So, in celebration my band director decided to take us outside in a field behind the gym to play kickball. Well my turn came and I kicked the ball into left field and took off running toward first base. Someone had gotten the ball and was throwing it toward the base so I decided to slide into base. As I did, I ended up putting all my weight on my ankle in an odd position. I cracked my leg all the way up to the knee and almost split my growth plate.

I was lucky my growth plate didn't split, I had a growth spurt over that summer while I crutched around until the week before school started again (This happened about a month before school let out, yeah it was that bad). I'm 20 now and my legs are the same height and I don't have any pain associated with that injury. But it was a horrid feeling.

All I remember is going down on the ground, and screaming bloody murder as I rolled back and forth trying to take my mind off the pain. Then there were faces, Mr. Vice Principal called me a liar (I'd known him for years) and tried to make me walk which made it worse. And the nurse wasn't there. And my mom wouldn't let me ride in the ambulance because she wanted to save 250 bucks. So I had to wait for her to get to me. The hospital was full and my injury was not a serious "emergency" so I waited for 14 hours to get pain pills and a soft cast. And when they tried to show me how to use the crutches I fell down. It was a horrid day...

That must've SUCKED.

My funniest injury was at work.

We had been working late one night finishing a project. We were tired, but we were just finishing up. I leaned across my desk to get something from my co-worker's desk, stretching far to reach. I didn't notice the cup with glue brushes that was standing in the middle. It seems my other co-worker hadn't cleaned the narrowest brush properly. The tip was hard and sharp, and I got it right in the middle of my forehead. A small rivulet of blood came trickeling right between my eyes. My co-worker and I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get a plaster for it, so I wound up just holding some tissues on it for a few minutes until it stopped. Piercing oneself with a small, watercolour type brush - it was the silliest work place accident we had ever heard of.

I had to write an official accident report, since there had been blood shed. My boss laughed so hard when I handed it in, and then he called in his secretary(/wife) so that she too could laugh. About a week later it was time for our annual safety manual review. Our little department (three people worked there at the time) got a copy with a post-it note attached, warning of the perils of glue brushes and suggesting we have a special safety drill on correct usage there of...

snapping my toe under a door[i opened it and my toe was under it and it snapped backwards], and im so dumb i went back and did it again.... and again, same toe, doing the exact same thing

Slipped on the ice-coated wooden stairs of the portable classroom in my Junior year. I fell flat on my back, but twisted sideways because of the weight of my bag, so I hurt my hip, back and shin. Made all the worse by the fact that my papers were strewn about in gasoline, and the students behind me either stared at me impatiently while I tried to get back to my feet, or just stepped right over me. Damn teenagers with your rock music.

When I was a kid, (don't remember how old) my brother slammed my middle and ring fingers in the door of our beat up Plymouth Sundance. It was my writing hand, so I had to have a "writing buddy" in school. hah!

My biggest injury was when I was 7 or 8 and I fell and cut my leg's skin with a rusted bench. I still have the scar. No broken bones. The most painful "injury" was some time when I went to the dentist. When my brother was little, he ran directly to a transparent glass door thinking that it was open and he broke the glass. It cutted his hand and his leg. It happened at a friend's house, and I am not sure but I think that his friend's parents wanted us to pay for the broken door. Such caring people. Another time he ran directly (again) to a rope that was not very visible and was tied between two columns just at the height to hit him in the mouth. He hurted his lips and he lost some teeth. I felt sorry for him even if sometimes I hate him.

Last summer my husband put a heavy bike rack on the back of my car. I was getting something out of the trunk and forgot about the bike rack and closed it. The rack hit me in the head and first I was just stunned. And then I was angry at myself for being dumb. And then I noticed that blood was splattering all over the place. I went up the stairs to my house, trailing blood and got a rag towel to hold on my head. It kept bleeding, so I drove to the hospital which is about a mile from my house. The triage person said I needed a couple of stitches. I had to wait for 2 hours and listen to the nurses bitching about how horrible their jobs are. At first I was seeing double and had a splitting headache, but that passed after a while. Then the doctor showed up. He decided he'd use glue to close the wound. My hair was a horror show after that - matted with blood and krazy glue.

Quite a lot actually...
When I was three, I fell of a treehouse and tore my chin.
When I was eight, my dog was jumping on me when I was sitting on the floor and accidentally scratched my left eyelid.
Few years ago, I got my right thumb and index finger slit by a broken shard of glass- and I wasn't able to write for 3 days after that.
There are also plenty of scratches I got for climbing walls, but those aren't really important

I'm very lucky here.. the only majorish injury I've ever had is a fractured growth plate in my ankle. How? I slipped on a dance game mat because I thought there was a bee chasing me. There's a reason they tell you not to wear shoes on those things!

As for someone else? Two years ago (in four days) my mom was doing yard duty at the school she teaches at. There was a drain that had a lip sticking up around it. She tripped on the lip as she was turning around, and fell flat. She broke her arm and her ankle. The kicker? The arm, after a surgery and two years, still hasn't healed! They actually have to do surgery on it again in a few weeks.

I was climbing over a fence a few years ago (nothing illegal, I can assure you) when I must have landed the wrong way because my kneecap slipped of the front of my knee, tore through the supporting ligaments and buried itself in the side. The pain was so bad the doctors at the hospital had to give me morphine before they could even touch it. Then the morphine made my heart race (I have a heart defect, and morphine seems to aggravate it) and I had a huge panic attack while they were trying to put the kneecap back into place. Then after my sister drove me home, I started barfing up my kidneys (again, bloody morphine).

A few years before that I sliced through my fingertip while cutting up food: there's a tiny scar on my right index finger.

Though I am very clumsy, I have never broken a major bone.

1) However, a couple of years ago I did fall over my dog and whacked my head on the door frame, knocking myself out.
2) I stapled my thumb.
3) My sister's rat bit me several times. Loads of blood...

Yeah, my injuries don't sound at all bad compared to you guys.

Gory

This one ought to have been the most painful but since I was in shock and mad, I really didn’t feel that much. I shattered the left side of my jaw and fractured the joint on the right side. And yeah it was gory, I could feel bones sticking in my mouth. They said the force of the impact had split the skin open on the other side of my face. Yes, it was a car accident caused by a blown front tire. But I didn’t get the worst of it. Teresa who was driving had the steering wheel and an old time glass pop bottle to deal with.

That was 3 weeks before my 21st birthday. Guess how much fun I had when the doctor handed me a tiny tool and said “If you are going to try drinking you’d better keep this handy to cut the bands or you will drown in your own vomit.”

Painful

Had these really heavy storm windows that were frozen in place, when I yanked on them hard enough to break them loose, they dropped 2 feet in like a millisecond. The middle finger on both hands was under the window when they went down. I cut them on both sides of each finger. Found out how hard it is to puke in the pot, while my husband is trying to run water over my hands to see how bad I had cut them. We now have double pane windows.

Or like el-flel and mustluvcatz

I broke my tail bone. Yep, first step at the top clear to the bottom. Some how missing the 3 children under the age of 4 that where in front of me at the time. Took me 10 mins to even be able to move. All I could think was “Why haven’t I taught my oldest how to dial 911”

Fell over the back of a bench (Loooong story) and broke my arm when I was 13, ooooouch that hurt.

Although you could argue that in some ways I'm pretty clumsy (I'm always getting paper cuts, bruises and the like), for the most part I haven't had any injuries worth noting.

The exceptions?
Busting my shoulder during a trampolining session in April 2009. It made getting dressed difficult, using painkillers had little to no effect (I used a gel rather than pills until the doctor prescribed an anti-inflammatory) and I was still having trouble with it 6 months later! It's okay now, but I still get the odd ache from it now and again.
Having a rounders ball hit me in the eye during one PE lesson when I was 13 or 14 - due to me needing glasses the eye it hit wasn't damaged, but my glasses frame cut the skin under the other eye! After 10+ years though, the scar's no longer visible.
When I was 17 my fingers got caught in the sliding door of a minibus. No bones broken, just a few cuts.

And quite possibly the craziest accident I've had was when I fell 10ft off of a slide on holiday as a teenager. I should've taken two rugs with me, but only had one, so came down with my legs bent. My shoe caught the side of the slide and stuck long enough for the momentum to flip me over the side and I landed on sand. Amazingly though, I walked away with nothing more than bruises, but my back ached for the rest of the day!

I broke my collar bone when I was about 3/4. My dad was helping fill up a family friend's pool, and I was up on the deck. (About 6 feet higher than the pool, which was on the ground) I looked down and saw water, and jumped in. Ouch. :/

In 6th grade I broke my wrist playing tag. I got shoved and skidded across the pavement.

Back in August of 2010, my puppy was in the house while I was doing dishes. He sat behind me, so when I went to turn away from the sink, he tripped me. I tried grabbing a cord/the counter to keep me up, and brought a knife down right in the center of my left heel.

I cant believe I remember this one; I was in my crib (I was a toddler, but I was a bit too old for a crib when this happened) and it was in the middle of the night and I always tended to climb out of the crib and go to my parents room, but this time it didnt go so well. While I was climbing out my foot slipped between the wooden bars, and i went flying forward, right towards the ground, and broke my TWO wrists at the exact same time. I spent Easter holidays walking around like a mummy with the two slings I had!

And another embarrassing injury, My mom was dropping me of at school and while I was about to get out of the car, I was yawning and I turned my neck to the left, then suddenly I pulled my left neck muscle! I could not turn my head to the right for at least 4 days, but I still went to school that morning, hoping it would go away, but I had to phone home, while the principle gave me a a look of disapointment :L

Holy shit they all sound awful! Your post actually made me wince. Ouch.

I've broken several bones doing things I should know by now that I just shouldn't do. Ever. I broke my arm rollerblading, my tailbone skiing, both ankles on a trampoline, an ankle again just running, my nose once from flying out of a baby swing and again from being headbutted in the nose by my toddler, both wrists from who knows what, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

The worst one was probably my ankle that time I was running. (Never doing that again!) I was at summer camp and it was lunch time and I saw one of my friends that I ate with a ways ahead of me, and I decided to take a short cut and ran through a slightly wooded area and tripped over my own feet. After just a few minutes part of my ankle had swollen up so much that it looked like a baseball was attached to the side of it. I tried to hide it. I went all through lunch without anyone noticing. Eventually though, one of my friends saw it and informed someone. I could still walk on it for quite some time. I didn't leave camp either, I hobbled around on crutches for a few more days before I got it in a cast.

On a happy note, I don't think I've ever broken a digit or a rib.

Well this one didnt happen to me, but it did happen to my grandad, he was cleaning his lorry after he'd finished work and he slipped, fell sideways onto the crash barriers[the big thick ones lorries cant break through, them ones O;] got a phone saying he had fallen out his lorry, so me and my mum and sister got in the car and rushed over to the lorry yard, the stupid security guard wouldnt let us in so i just ran past him. stupid idiot, and ran god knows how far to the ambulance, luckily just bruised his ribs, bless him :').

sorry for my typos im a really bad speller T_T