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Forum Resident
#51 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 8:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kestie Freehawk
I dont know if we will ever be able to fix all the Autisms.


That's because there's nothing to fix. Nothing more than there is in a person who is left-handed. Autism is simply a different way the brain is wired, just as left-handedness is. The only difference is that autism affects a different part of the brain.
Test Subject
#52 Old 27th Sep 2012 at 6:25 PM
Autistic people are already burdened by their lacking so people around them should be more understanding for their sake.

The girl's action is excusable, it's those snide comments from others that are not. And why the heck does the surrounding people who heard her say "ew" be so sensitive? They weren't the ones who were criticized and anyway for a young girl to say that, it isn't a big matter to be angry about.
Test Subject
#53 Old 8th Nov 2013 at 11:11 PM
I hope I'm not the only one to write this, but I'm Autistic.

Well, to be technical, mine is the milder one, Aspergers, but I'm pretty close.

One thing a lot of Aspies and Autties have is we think that intimacy is awkward.I can't bare watching people snogging in public, it just makes my skin crawl.I can't make eye-contact, it jus tfeels to intimate.

A lot of aspies agree with me on that.We aren't homophobic....I just don't like anyone making out in public....

And I'm the Irish one....Where I live, the only gay lad moved, so homosexuality hardly exists in my little community.
Test Subject
#54 Old 8th Nov 2013 at 11:19 PM
A lot of you don't seem to understand....We struggle, basically, to just keep our mouthes shut.We really honestly don't realise it's rude at all.

I have hugely strict parents, and it took me a long time to shift such brute honesty.I wouldn't realise if I was offending someone or boring them.

And honestly....Autism is different in everyone! Just because you babysitted an Auttie, or you have a little brother or sister with it, doesn't mean you have a full perspective.I know some aspies who are the opposite of awkward when it comes to something like smoking in public, or two women kissing. It'll always be a case of 1 says ew, 1 just keeps walking, one stops and stares, just like everyone else.

I'm quite lucky that I know a lot of aspies and autties, of many walks of life (Adults and children) and many ways of coping.Because it's so rare for a girl to be diagnosed, a lot of Aspie girls kill themselves not knowing that they aren't freaks, but they just have Asperger's syndrome.

Now, also, just because we have aspergers, doesn't mean we can do as we want and say what we want.We have to keep kind and mannerly, just like you do.Asperger's or Autism is NEVER an excuse....It's always a REASON.But, I highly disagree with it being used as an excuse.Just because I have mild Autism doesn't mean I can just skip school and wear the same clothes every day.
Test Subject
#55 Old 9th Nov 2013 at 7:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottie
I've heard quite a bit of people opinions on a different site, and I was wondering about how you guys thought of it.

A while back, someone I knew grimaced and said "ew" when a lesbian couple kissed passionately. They are severly autistic and at the age of thirteen, with a phobia of any intimate displays.
Some people didn't know this, and started to bash the child, with one lady even calling her a "disgusting homophobe of a child".

As someone who suffers from a mental disability (not autistic but, I won't say what exactly) I hope someone bashed those people for being such bigoted assholes and I hope someone called that "one lady" a "disgusting bigoted nazi whore". Especially since they acted like that towards a child, autistic or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottie
When her mother came out and explained she was Autistic and phobic of any and all intimacy, many said it wasn't a valid excuse.

Then those bigots can go fuck themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottie
But the girl would have done the same if it were a straight couple?

Yes, as she's phobic of any and all intimate acts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottie
There are a few other incidents of Autism being "not a valid excuse" varying from case to case.

No, there's not. That's because a mental disability is not an "excuse". It's a condition that the affected can't help. Those of us who have a mental disability didn't ask for it nor do we want it. Most of us were born like that and struggle all our lives with it to some extent in addition to facing discrimination for it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottie
So... What's your view?

Personally, I'm sick of these assholes telling us that we all need to be accepting of other peoples differences, then turning around and condemning people for being different in some way they don't like. I'm sick of these hypocrites not practicing what they preach while simultaneously daring to look down their noses at all the rest of us as if they were perfect. Personally, I wouldn't piss on those people if they were on fire.

I find it disgusting how discriminated against those of us with mental disabilities are in society. Where's our justice? Where's our acceptance? How come no one stands up and calls those who speak out against us bigots?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Einstein'sRiddle
I can't make eye-contact, it jus tfeels to intimate.

I can't stand to make eye contact with most people either; it just feels too creepy. My family are the only people I can really make any eye contact with and not immediately feel weirded out.

~ZE!
Née whiterider
staff: administrator
#56 Old 9th Nov 2013 at 1:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Spark
I hope someone bashed those people for being such bigoted assholes and I hope someone called that "one lady" a "disgusting bigoted nazi whore".
Oh, sure. Because the cause of people being more understanding when someone says or does something they don't realise is inappropriate will be advanced massively by having blazing rows with strangers in the street, not by explaining and education and communication.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.
Scholar
#57 Old 9th Nov 2013 at 4:31 PM
I'd say that her autism excuses feeling that way, but not saying it in public. I have major problems with watching other people eat, but I at least know enough not to say it in public. No matter how satisfying it would be to go up to someone who slurps up a solid object and ask if they're eating it or making out with it.
Née whiterider
staff: administrator
#58 Old 9th Nov 2013 at 5:02 PM
But you have to bear in mind that it's going to be hard for her to learn not to say those kinds of things out loud. So, yes, obviously she needs to - but it's also necessary for people to be forgiving when she (or any other autist) makes a mistake.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.
Scholar
#59 Old 9th Nov 2013 at 11:43 PM
I obviously don't know what level of functioning she's at, but most autists/Aspies I've met can understand why they shouldn't do something if you explain why they shouldn't. Our social issues are more that we can't intuit social rules/body language - and when we ask why we should do something, getting 'because I said so' or 'because you should' as an explanation way too often - than being completely unable to figure it out after repeated attempts at explanation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Spark
As someone who suffers from a mental disability (not autistic but, I won't say what exactly) I hope someone bashed those people for being such bigoted assholes and I hope someone called that "one lady" a "disgusting bigoted nazi whore". Especially since they acted like that towards a child, autistic or not.


Does your mental disorder by any chance include seeing everything in black and white? Yes, she's a bigot, but nazi is a little over the top. And don't call a woman you dislike a whore, it's slut-shaming and sexist.
Top Secret Researcher
#60 Old 11th Nov 2013 at 10:18 AM
It is less a lack of understanding of the condition which make people act horridly towards people. Also it does not vanish after childhood and in England there are very little services which are avaible to autistics after the age of 17. I do not know if it is different in any other countries but I guess in some of them it is the same or worse. What is wrong with being autistic or aspger (since in England they are being classed as the same thing) ? There are some people with the condition who are famous like Satoshi Tajiri; creator of Pokémon.

I think that depending on how high they are on the spectrum is how much it is an excuse and also it is part up to them as they are not mindless idiots. I have been told that in my case it's not an excuse and if you have not already guessed I have autism which does link into other conditions depending on the person.

"I know, and it breaks my heart to do it, but we must remain vigilant. If you cannot tell me another way, do not brand me a tyrant!" - knight commander Meredith (dragon age 2)

My sims stories: Witch queen
Nocturnal Dawn
Test Subject
#61 Old 24th Nov 2013 at 12:02 AM
When it comes to Autism, Aspergers, and ADHD, there's little a parent can do to make these children learn the social code, and how to read a social situation. Something can be done with therapy, but when you act on impulses, remembering the things you were told doesn't come easy.

I cannot stand social situations, and I don't really understand why I'm often forced to see strangers kiss and even make out in public. It's not cute, you're just being gross. Holding hands and hugging on the streets should be enough, you should respect the people around you. Where as I don't say "ew" out loud, I roll my eyes.

So it's not an excuse. I am often accused of using my ADHD as an excuse as to why I behave badly, but really I'm trying hard just to get through the day.
It's also not an excuse that these people said harsh things to someone who is still underaged and easily influenced. Not only that, as much as it hurts the ugly truth is that the children are to be raised by the parents. So when a kid does something wrong, then it's up to the parents to correct them.
Mad Poster
#62 Old 24th Nov 2013 at 1:15 AM
I don't think people should be kissing passionately or groping each other in public, thanks and no. I don't like seeing it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Spark
As someone who suffers from a mental disability (not autistic but, I won't say what exactly) I hope someone bashed those people for being such bigoted assholes and I hope someone called that "one lady" a "disgusting bigoted nazi whore". Especially since they acted like that towards a child, autistic or not.


But while i don't agree with over the top PDA I also don't agree with using language like that. Yes I think she was wrong, but a disgusting bigoted nazi whore, is a terrible thing to call someone and every bit as bad as what she did. I was raised to be very polite which is probably why I find both sides offensive. To me passionate kissing in public isn't polite, but neither is that woman's reaction, or that reaction in the quote. I go by the old saying "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all" I think the world would be a happier place if people learnt to be quite and leave a situation instead of igniting it. I'm not talking about not speaking out against injustice, just things that need no comment or are non of their business.

As a mother to a high functioning autistic child I would be very offended if some stranger berated him. It's my job to talk to and remind him as often as it takes for him to learn not to make certain sounds or talk about certain things openly.

“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” - Unknown
~Call me Jo~
Forum Resident
#63 Old 24th Nov 2013 at 7:37 AM
I think so, yes. Anyone who has ever once been bothered to Google what Autism is should understand why it is a valid reason.

I dig the irony in this though. A group of ever so "tolerant" adults begin to verbally attack a severely autistic child for not being tolerant enough. Hell, even if the child wasn't autistic I still find it unreasonable for adults to go off at a child like that. Disgusting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottie
with one lady even calling her a "disgusting homophobe of a child".

I bet she has a Tumblr filled with woe-is-me rants about how triggered she was when a checkout girl said "Have a nice day ma'am" that one time.
Inventor
#64 Old 2nd Jan 2014 at 1:39 AM
Perhaps the social discomfort is something that a parent can chose to scold their child about, but at what age do we consider the ewww gross statement something more than childish behavior? If a 6 year old said it about a hetro couple we might chuckle and understand that children go through a stage like that, but a 13 year old is too old for the stage so the whole group has to correct the one with Autism? That is the sort of thing that makes me really uncomfortable, because I am going to get it wrong. I vividly remember my "I don't ever wanna get married" best friend telling me that her big brother stuck his tounge in his wives mouth and liked it! when I was six and I though that might be the grossest thing I ever heard. I remember asking him if he really liked that and he told me yes. I was shocked, but as a side note still wanted to get married. At 13 that wound not have been acceptable, and would not have made people laugh. There is a stage where we kind of blow the whole thing off as silly kid, and then a stage where kids are way too old to get away with that. Because Autism is not something we can easily see, we sometimes make mistakes. I think it has less to do with tolerance and more to do with comfort level. Kids can get away with things when its just an stage and teens don't get away with the same thing because they are too old for the stage.

Some people have a Guardian Angel, you know a little guy sitting on your shoulder that tells you right from wrong, but mine is an Idiot.
Lab Assistant
#65 Old 5th Jan 2014 at 9:59 PM
As someone who has Aspergers, I often find there's a fine line between "playing the autism card", and not wanting to let it define me. I'm at university, and I really struggle when I have to work with people, because social situations are scary. So people have to know I have AS, but then on the other hand sometimes I wish they didn't, because it makes me stand out as different. As someone said upthread, if we aspies use autism "as an excuse", then we can't have it, because we have the capacity to use it as an excuse. No one seems to understand that what bothers me one day might not the next - when I'm already worked up, I can't touch clingfilm (because seriously, that stuff is awful!) and I suddenly notice every noise - the whirring of the projector, the guy behind me tapping his pen, the gurgling of the radiator, etc. Normally, that stuff doesn't bother me. So of course I can't have autism - I just put it on when I have to do something I don't want to.

Also, with regards to the OP, would the other people have been so vocal in berating the girl if it had been a heterosexual couple? I doubt it. The problem is, these days, the only thing we're intolerant of is intolerance...

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Test Subject
#66 Old 4th Mar 2014 at 1:28 PM
Autism is not a 'valid excuse', it's a medical condition, therefore, people should instinctively be more open minded and forgiving towards the victim in the situation, i.e. the autistic girl. The lack of empathy and general caring towards anyone with a chronic condition is despicable given the level of anti-discrimination laws in place today, but it's especially bad for those with such varied problems as Autism and other conditions which can affect people's mental ability or mental health.
I think the fact that a stranger felt she had the right to actually strike another woman's child is beyond disgusting, and she wouldn't have dared to do it if the child had been able to argue her case herself. It is unbelievable how judgmental and ignorant people can be towards each other, and it's upsetting when you consider the fact that those with medical conditions had no choice in contracting whatever it is that they suffer from.
Personally, I think we need much more education on prevalent conditions such as Autism, but also things like asthma, diabetes and epilepsy, and not just from T.V. shows that work off of common misconceptions or cliches and present them as facts (such as diabetics only ever need insulin and aren't allowed sugar). It is high time that society stopped being so selfish, and started being a little more tolerant. I think the majority of people would find themselves much happier if they had less to be offended, disgusted or angry about, and you never know, it might change your life!
Test Subject
#67 Old 4th Mar 2014 at 1:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by iCad
OK, maybe I'm weird. PDAs don't bother me much at all, no matter who's doing it. But then, I'm a hippie, so it kind of goes with the territory. Free love and all that jazz.

Of course, all kids are different and mine are heavily influenced by my own rather free attitudes toward things like sex and nudity and such. (Although I'm an odd bird. Sex and nudity and such don't bother me.) and some of the kids out on the patio...yeah. In fact, two of 'em are out there right now, going at it. Makes me wanna take a hose to 'em, maybe, but it doesn't freak me out.

THAT said, I kinda agree with Mistermook (OMG, it might be a first!). While the reactions to the autistic kid's reaction were kind of extreme (Things with a whiff of gay issues about them do tend to bring out the worst in some people, y'know. People on both sides of the fence get uppity over it.), it's not as if those people should be expected to telepathically know that the kid is autistic with an accompanying case of erotophobia. Not unless he's wearing his special "Hi! I'm autistic! And erotophobic!" name tag, that is. And while I do agree that autism and other conditions can be a valid "excuse" for generally frowned-upon behavior, I really don't think it's an excuse that in many or perhaps even most cases can last forever. Most such kids/people can be taught to behave according to acceptable societal standards. (Phobias are irrational and therefore sometimes hard to control...but they CAN be controlled.) And I would think that by 13, most autistic kids who function highly enough that they can and will interact mostly normally with other people could be reasonably expected to behave properly most of the time or at least be well on their way to being that way.

I mean, we're talking about a 13-year-old, an adolescent. Not a 6-year-old child. Yes, I realize that young teens have a range of maturity levels, but it's likely that ALL of them, not-severely-autistic or not, will at least be past the level of a 6-year-old. If this kid's aware enough of the external world and can relate to it enough to recognize a PDA, then she can be taught that it's impolite to go "EW!" out loud when she sees one, even if she really, really wants to go "Ew!" In other words, she can be taught to keep her reaction to herself. And by 13, I think it's reasonable for the public to expect that she'd at least be on her way there. No, that doesn't give them a right to "bash" her, but I don't think it's particularly surprising that someone did, especially not if she looks like a 13-year-old. People expect a certain level of behavior from kids who appear to be a certain age -- particularly so of girls, who tend to mature, both physically and behaviorally, sooner than boys do -- and if they don't comply, then some people are going to be outspoken enough to say something. (I've been known to reprimand monkey children that aren't mine who climb up shelves in grocery stores, myself, if only for their own safety. I've also told teens that aren't mine to shut up on occasion, when they're being unnecessarily loud/obnoxious in inappropriate places. It's my right as an elder.) That doesn't make them terrible people. It makes them a human with perhaps a lower tolerance for disrespectful young teens than some people have.


I'm sorry but your post seems to be quite conflicted. In one breath, you claim to be 'free' and 'open minded' about sexuality, and in the next, you're saying about how you wanted to take a hose to the kids kissing on the library steps. You don't seem to be taking into account the fact that this girl suffers from a medically recognised neurological disorder, which can affect the sufferers development level, or their ability to understand social etiquette. It doesn't make them a bad person, nor does it mean that their parents are bad parents, it means that they deserve more understanding. The fact that a woman felt the right to fly into a rage and stat physically punishing a stranger's child says far more about her lack ignorance and general nasty attitude than it does about either parent or child. That experience could have left ANY child traumatised, let alone one who also has to deal with autism. Personally, I think that you should consider what it would be like to have to live in a culture that you struggle to understand at the best of times, and maybe think about how lonely and confusing it must get sometimes.

Just, you know, before you go telling off other people's children.
Top Secret Researcher
#68 Old 4th Mar 2014 at 1:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeymichelle94
The lack of empathy and general caring towards anyone with a chronic condition is despicable given the level of anti-discrimination laws in place today

Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeymichelle94
It is high time that society stopped being so selfish, and started being a little more tolerant. I think the majority of people would find themselves much happier if they had less to be offended, disgusted or angry about, and you never know, it might change your life!

I find it cute that you called iCad conflicted, and amusing that you believe that empathy is a matter of law.
Lab Assistant
#69 Old 5th Mar 2014 at 3:35 AM
I don't like any graphic forms of public displays of affection, especially in polite or formal settings, or when children are present. I would call that self-righteous, ableist, person how she is. If she doesn't know what ableism is, I would take great pleasure in explaining it to her and saying that she is as bad as a racist or an actual homophobe.

--Ocram

Always do your best.
Space Pony
#70 Old 14th Mar 2014 at 3:33 AM
Of course it's a valid excuse. Autistic people don't quite 'get' the same social cues and unspoken rules that the rest of humanity does. Autistic kids don't do things that are considered rude because they want to and then just pull out their diagnosis to avoid any of the consequences; they legitimately do not understand why what they said or did was inappropriate and often need it patiently explained to them.
People who see autism as "just an excuse"? That's just a mixture of not understanding what autism is and plain old ableism.

And, might I add, it is never appropriate to hit a child, no matter how neurotypical they are or aren't and no matter what they've said or done.
Field Researcher
#71 Old 26th May 2014 at 5:01 AM
From personal experience while i had a huge admiration for a guy with autism i can say it's not an excuse in some cases yes it does prevent them from understanding things but they can understand far more than people make it out to be, this guy who was "autistic" went around the college in Scotland (i was living there for a while before moving back to england a few years ago), and he told them i was a psycho stalker just because i got a little obsessive (and something i'm quite embarraced about), but there was no need for that and he made everyone then think he only said that because of his autism.

But wait... what comes next?, one night when i went to one of the 2 clubs everyone goes to he was there and he let me kiss him knowing how much i liked him :\. Next thing i know he's talking about me behind my back and now he's best friends with a guy who was my best friend and has completely turned him against me and he's lost the plot, i had a fight with him today over facebook because he and the other guys friend has made me out like i'm a delusional psycho, and now he claims that he's some "true Conservative" lmao, i couldn't stop laughing after he said that. So no... i don't feel it's a good enough excuse most of the time when they still have the ability as much as anyone to turn peoples friends against them. People with autism can still be completely horrible people just like other people can be.
Field Researcher
#72 Old 22nd Jun 2014 at 2:52 PM
autism ranges in a spectrum from light to strong so its hard to judge if the child is being immature or its just not their fault. the parent/carer should try as much as possible to help the person in social situations such as these and explain what's wrong/right just as you would with any other child. however, sometimes autistic children can be set on an idea thats almost impossible to brake so its really a difficult situation you've got going...
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