Okay, for the past 7 years, I pay rent to stay with my parents.

However, due to a partial list of circumstances beyond my control and my illness getting in the way, I recently was given by my mother, who controls the house while dad is recovering from his mother's death, the dreaded 30-day notice...Yeah, she went there.

With the fact you and my 4 friends on deviantART are the only people I call friends live in different places outside my network, I only earned barely $5 from my first writing job and have limited funds to pack up and leave, I guess I may have to live with Grandpa, who was essentially a second father to me.

No kidding, my grandparents essentially raised me when my parents worked three jobs to raise me.

So...your thoughts?

My first thought, without knowing anything else about the situation, is that she's bluffing. She wants you to panic and agree to her terms / negotiate with her. Find out what she wants.

I've been there before. It sucks. Felt kind of like a betrayal.

I'd offer you a place to stay, but you wouldn't get a room to yourself and I live in Texas. Also, you would not be allowed to whistle upon pain of death. The rent is fairly low, though.
If you did have a place to go to, you could probably afford a flight. I've recently been looking at flights and Southwest has some one-ways across the country for about $180-something, two luggage and two carry-ons included, if you don't mind taking a really early, really late, or multi-stop flight.

If you've completed one writing job and got good feedback from the client (or can get them to endorse you), then you've already gotten your foot in the door. You can find better work and get started on a good freelancing career. If you have a good reputation and you're working through a directory with more than one type of job, you could even branch out to drawing with your good review; I'm a novel editor and fixing a quick, one-minute formatting error got me started. Are you working through a freelancing site?

But, yeah. I've been there. Things will get better.

Without knowing the exact circumstances that you're in, it's possible that your mother isn't bluffing because she's got a sick husband, and she needs some space to cope in with.

But it's not pleasant to have to move suddenly. Been there, done that. Hope you find a place to live soon, even if it's Grandpa's house.

Did this 'begone from this house, daughter' utterance come out of nowhere or has it been simmering for a while?

My mother expected me out of the house the moment I turned 18. However. I was unprepared back then.

I called her bluff eventually. She only wanted me to do chores, but I really suffered from severe enough seasonal allergies that I have panic attacks and yet she considers that an excuse and she is violently opposed to excuses that she shouts at me "NO EXCUSES!" to get her way on the subject.

Lately, I have been consumed with my job as a How-To-Draw book author. I have been studying and honing my skills, following examples when needed to improve in drawing blocked out drawing shapes and freehand. I even studied the subject matter. In reality, I was destined since age 5 to become a teacher when I grew up like my father was before his breakdown.

So you called her bluff and she said you didn't have to move out? Or that was in the past?
I agree with Shoosh Malooka - talk to your mother.
Hear her out on her complaints without arguing and find out what you can do to make things better and then do them without complaining.

Without knowing the ends and outs of your situation ,what I am guessing is based on what info you have provided is that your mom is fed up.
Not only is she dealing with a sick hubby she is dealing with an Adult child who shows no signs of even wanting to leave the nest. Find a job that pay you more than this writing gig does. You can follow your dreams. Just realize that your mom is tired of supporting you..

Tell your mom that 30 days is too soon. Let her Know you will be leaving in 60 days and that you need the money that you pay for rent as a deposit for a place of your own. You need to find a place where the only rules that matter are yours and yours alone. The unknown can be such a scary place but still take the chance. Time flies bye so fast. You don't want to turn around and find yourself 50 years old still living with your parents regretting that you didn't leave when you were young..

Call the housing board in your area to see if you qualify for assistance. From what you've posted you receive SSI (probably also SNAP & Medicaid). That & your health issues probably more than meets their requirements.

I have a few problems with it: finances, the ability to live elsewhere safely and obtaining a voucher.

I have no job in terms of a steady paycheck in the past 3 years as a writer, I haven't pushed to the $5 mark in earnings from royalties total.

Also, I have fears for my safety in government housing. I would probably have a higher chance of getting shot there than I do here.

The other thing is this: I have been on the wait list for a voucher to lighten finances. What bothers me is that good apartments had rent totaling $500 years ago. Now, due to the housing market and the many crises involved, the same amount of money now buys you a government apartment that's probably falling apart inside and out.

I have looked at those nice places and they just don't work for me financially and knowing that government housing is probably nothing more that projects with spin, I should mention that my father's family cannot take me in because they have children 17 and under, are absent due to the nature of their work or in grandpa's case, are getting old and are closer to death in terms of he needs some help.

My book project has been stop and go because I've been dealing with incapacitating panic attacks, allergy season is in full force and agonizing me with post nasal drip, my mother berating me over every little detail of an unwritten roommate agreement (my parents watched "The Big Bang Theory" because they noticed social behavior in the character Sheldon Cooper matching with mine. I still don't get it.), constant medication of the symptoms of the allergies, not having basic supplies for the how-to-draw Manga and Anime and of course, organizing my money envelope system.

This morning, mom berated me over how I dress. I was wearing a tank top and underpants. She yelled at me to wear shorts. I quietly sat there and shed tears once all was said and done.

Would a roommate situation be possible? If you can't afford an apartment on your own, you could split the rent with someone else. That depends on whether you can live with someone else, though, but it's better than nothing. Are you living in a big city? If you find an apartment in a smaller town, it will likely be a lot cheaper than in larger cities, because you're not paying for the prime real estate.

If you're worried about safety with roommates, find out if they have references. Criminal records can also be looked up online, but former roommates will be more likely to notice the non-criminal types of scariness.

For what's going on with your mom: it's not about you, personally. From your description, she's extremely stressed out. Once you hit that point, you're viewing every tiny little thing as the straw that could break the camel's back. She's not upset that you weren't wearing pants or that you have allergies, she's upset that there's a giant burden on her back and she's treating "put on some pants" as "YOUR UNDERWEAR-WEARING IS RUINING MY LIFE" because in her mind, it is not lack-of-pants-sized, it is giant-burden-plus-lack-of-pants-sized.

Unfortunately, there's not really much you can do about it. You can offer more help around the house, but if she's frustrated with you, she might be at the point where asking her if she needs anything will cause her to snipe at you. Plus, it might not be possible if you're having sneezing fits every time someone opens a window. If you can ease things enough for her to get therapy for an hour or so a week, that would probably help her a lot, but she has to want therapy.
Still, if your allergies calm down enough, you could try finding the household chore she hates the most and quietly doing it for her. It would show her that you're trying - which makes her less likely to take it out on you - and it would give her some stress relief.

And Sheldon Cooper is, I think, all but stated on the show to have Aspergers. So there are a few non-neurotypical traits of his that are really prominent, but because it's a sitcom they're exaggerated to the point where it looks over the top to an actual Aspie (and our literal nature likes to point out the differences). At least, I think that's what the allists see. Don't really have the brain to see it myself.

As an outsider looking in I am going to give you my two cents. The situation that you are in is toxic and you need to get out as fast as you can. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse only it is worse, Bruises heal words don't. Right now I would forget about writing and concentrate on getting into a save environment.
First stop with the excuses. Right now you don't have the option to be picky about where you live. Tomorrow contact your State or County Disabled division. Inform them of what you stated on this forum. They should be abled to provide or give you info on how to get into some sort of Assisted Living Program. If you have a Social Worker for SSI call them and tell them about your situation. You have to do whatever it takes to leave your parents home before all of your self esteem is totally eroded.

As for the Sheldon thing, Sheldon exhibits signs of being a person who is Autistic. If that is one of your issues don't use it as an excuse to not take control of your life. You can do anything . The only person who stops you is you. Once you are in a safe environment check your local college or university to see if they offer courses in Manga or Writing. If they do apply for financial aid and take courses to get the skills you need to actively pursue your dreams. If you were my family member you could camp out with me and the advise I gave you is the same I would give to my niece ,nephew or cousin in the same boat.

I'm busy trying to get this allergy situation under control with Benadryl, Mucinex, Gas-X, Flonase, saline spray, cough drops, hot tea and turning my bathroom into a steam room. I will be going to the doctor tomorrow to tell them that Zyrtec did jack shit for my allergies. My mother suffered from the same allergies.

As for my situation, we are still working things out. If my mother was truly malicious in any way, I would call for help that depended on the situation involved. My mother has been run ragged working full-time when she only was registered as a part-timer. She went out with her girl friend, Anita. She and I made up. It was just tension running high.

My father is still trying to figure out his new career. He can't work as an information technology educator as it nearly killed him. But I felt very bad for his former boss from Nepal, whose family was affected by the two earthquakes. Still, he was a forgiving boss to my dad. Considering the fact that the boss grew up in a part of Nepal where you had to shimmy across a rope over a raging river to get to school, I realized my problems of the bipolar dynamics of my life at home are nothing compared to those who risk their lives going to school. In fact, I consider myself lucky that I have a place to call home.

As for the issue of Sheldon, I absolutely hate being compared to this character. For one thing, I am not inept to the point of causing trouble and I understand the gravity of restraining orders.

One has to wonder if you're not throwing too much at your allergies. That's a lot of meds to take as well as the Zyrtec. Are you sure the Benadryl and the Mucinex aren't fighting each other, as one dries up the 'tubes' and the other loosens ... Lord knows what the Flonase adds to the mix.

I think I understand your situation, and I agree with carmelapple99. You need to get out of that house and try living on your own. I can feel you're dreading having to deal with living on your own with an economy that isn't good, but living there with her isn't good for you in the long term. You should try to work some, perhaps you can work parttime? It's only to make it possible to pay your bills. I take it you only have you to think about?

I have a mother like that, she doesn't have a clue how to make people feel like they have accomplished anything, I just end up feeling like I'm pulling her down. I lived in my own apartment for several years and always paid my bills, so I know I can do it. She needs me now she's old, and I feel stronger because she never managed to build a good relationship with any of her daughters. If we help her out it's just going to be the bare essentials, just what we feel we have to. The mother-daughter relationship just isn't there.

Zyrtec, Telfast and Claratyne - or whatever the equivalent brands of those non-sedating antihistamines are outside of Australia - are all similar in effectiveness but have a marked individual response. Zyrtec might do nothing for you, try one of those other two.

Half that other shit won't do anything for seasonal allergies. If it's a post nasal-drip that's causing a cough at night try one of those sedating antihstamines. Polaramine or Phenergan.

Source: Me, The Splendid Pirate Wolf! I studied pharmacy. I work at a pharmacy. Heck yeah, drugs.

I'm not really keeping track, but what happened with that older Doctor/Godfather man you were mentioning in your diary threads? Why don't you get a house with him, at least for a couple of months until you learn to survive on your own two feet. Also in your situation it doesn't look like you have much of a choice when it comes to apartments, I'm sure some aren't that bad, though I have no idea what it's like in America/Where ever you live, I've lived in a council house up until I moved to university, and it had doors coming off the hinges, mould on the top corners of the ceiling in some rooms, but we made do. I don't think most people's first adult house is that nice, I'm dreading to move out of my apartment next year when I finish university and have to find myself a new one. If moneys tight, you should just do the jobs you can do, instead of aiming for ones that will take a while to master (such as being a writer). Maybe get a job as a waitress, cleaner, receptionist, etc. and write in your spare time. Most jobs also offer additional courses so you can get more qualifications and work experience.

Writing, drawing, and other creative lines of work only works as a way of income if you actually are very good at it. And even then it can be hard, because you have to make a name for yourself to start with. Getting books published is lots of work, and unless your writing is no less than amazing, being an author is absolutely not the best-paid profession. Rather the opposite. For artwork to be your income, you must manage to sell your art for a reasonable prize, or be good enough to be employed for some company where artwork is your fulltime job - which isn't exactly the easiest thing, either.

Right now getting yourself on your feet is what you need. Getting a job where you don't need education or lots of skills is at least a start to get some income. You should also find some place affordable to live, preferably on your own (since it seems people around you are getting tired of your big dreams leading to nothing - and you also need to learn how to take care of yourself and your economy, and there's no better way to do it than actually doing it). Those two should be your first priorities in your situation. When your life situation is stable enough, you can of course continue following your big dreams.

As for the big collection of meds you've got there, try reading the paper that lists their usage and side effects, and talk to your doc so you can get a proper description of the use of them, so you don't combine them in ways that makes your allergies worse. Even something as seemingly harmless as nasal spray can make things a lot worse if you use it the wrong way or use it for too long.

Been there, done that, can totally relate.
I was 24, unemployed, living at home, this was during the dot-com bubble, I went so far as to get a business license and attempted to become one of those internet entrepreneurs. However, my crippling social anxiety and shyness didn't lend itself well to entrepreneurship and so basically, I was an over-educated but unemployed bum. Mom gave me an ultimatum: get a job or GTFO. So I GTFO and moved in with my gf, and she helped me snag a really good job and the rest is history.

Anyway, my mom meant well, even though it didn't feel like it at the time. Every parent wants to see their child grow up, leave the nest, and fly on their own. I'd imagine your mom also means well, and just wants to see you grow up and become independent.
I know you want to be an author, and I think you should absolutely pursue that. However, at this point, maybe you should work on becoming independent first with a regular income, then spend your free time pursuing your goal of becoming an author. Sometimes the road to independence starts at a place like Starbucks or McDonald's.

I have a Chinese friend - Chinese as in he "was smuggled out of mainland China in the bottom of a fishing boat into then British Hong Kong".

He built his own house - not like "hired a contractor" built, built as in "cut the tips of his fingers off" cutting the lumber built. Each time he had a child, he built more rooms on it. So, he had no debt.

Each of his children stayed home and moved out only when they had a professional skill, were making good money, and had enough of their own money to buy their first house with cash.

Seemed like the way to go to me. I was going to try it with my two oldest children. But their mom thought otherwise. My older daughter split as soon as she realized her mom was coming back home (we were divorced) and my son was driven out by his mom, even tho' I wanted him to stay home and go to college. So he dropped out and got a not so great job.

I donno.

I know people mean well with the whole "get a crappy service job" thing, but not everyone can do those jobs. They depend on your ability to work under high-pressure situations - and in my experience, service jobs are somewhere between defusing a bomb and wrestling a swarm of sharks underwater while naked and menstruating - and your ability to work with people. Autists tend not to have those abilities to the same extent as allists, and when you combine them with other medical or mental problems, it can mean a complete inability to work. I have misophonia, which means that I get violent when people whistle, when I hear chewing, when people sing poorly, when people pound on things, or when it rains (among other things). Because of my autism, I also can't communicate with people well when I'm stressed (or at all, really), so my managers just saw someone who randomly exploded, curled up into a whimpering ball, or threatened to punch coworkers in the testicles. Also, because of said communication problems, my coworkers mostly hated me and they drove me out of my job by deliberately triggering my misophonia.
I've also had random people start a campaign of harassment when I politely ask them to stop whistling. This is why I don't like people.

Sure, you need a lot of creativity and hard work for writing or drawing, but they're something you can do without interacting with people in person (we generally do better over the internet, since we're better with text), and you can do them on your own time. If you suddenly have a panic attack or you feel like tearing apart the room because those damned birds won't shut up and stop scratching at the wall or flying into your window, then you can take a break. With service jobs, you have to ask the manager for a break, which is difficult when there are a lot of customers, you're in the middle of a panic attack, you're so stressed that you've gone mute, or you want to tear peoples' throats out with your teeth. Mental disorders don't tend to recognize the chain of command when they demand a break.

So, yeah, this isn't the "I have too many grand plans to do MENIAL work" mentality. This is the "Okay, this is going well, WHY IS THAT PERSON YELLING AT ME IS HE GOING TO GET VIOLENT AT ME CAN'T THINK HELP ME CAN'T THINK HELP ME CAN'T THINK HELP ME" mentality.

@hugbug993 -- It's absolutely horrible that people would treat you that way (deliberately setting off your misophonia). Ugh. I'm with you on not liking people. Would it be weird if apologized to you on behalf of the rest of the human race? Anyway, I agree with the point you're making -- with how demanding and stressful a job like that can be, I service jobs aren't going to work out for everyone. Even people who aren't living with health issues or disorders can easily be overwhelmed and miserable in those circumstances.

@Nymphetamine -- Ideally, that's how things would work. Unfortunately, benefit amounts in many places haven't kept up with cost of living and there are sometimes very long waiting lists for government housing.

I don't think I have any useful advice for you, @PANDAQUEEN, sorry. Would your mother be able to least help you look for a new place to live and figure out how to pay for it? It sounds like she's pretty overwhelmed right now, but it also seems pretty unreasonable to just expect you to figure this out on your own with very few resources.

Your therapist can help you with this situation. They'd have access to lots of avenues/information & may be able to speed things up in the assistance you need to be on your own.

That is true, but not all jobs of the kind need to be high-speed service jobs where you meet lots of people. If you want to see if teaching is something for you, perhaps as a teacher's assistant (not sure if that requires education), or as a library assistant, or anything of the sort. Even some crappy on-the-floor jobs can help you a step forward. You just need to find something that will work for you.

We've got a kind of government facility that helps people in difficult life situations find jobs - they help long-term unemployed, people with mixed psychological problems, health issues or various handicaps, and people who just need a helping hand getting into looking for jobs. Perhaps you've got something of the sort where you live. Most people have some skills they can use in a job, they just need to find the right job for them.

Simmer22 made me remember that I actually do know something that might be useful. If you are interested in getting a job and you have a disability, try looking into voc rehab. I don't know what your situation is, so please forgive me if I've made wrong assumptions, but I know they help people who are disabled find and maintain employment. They'll work with a person's abilities and interests. I don't remember where you live, but for some reason I'm thinking Washington state in the U.S. This is a link to the website for voc rehab in that state: https://www.dshs.wa.gov/jjra/divisi...o-i-get-started

If you live somewhere else, try doing a Google search for voc rehab in your state. Even if you aren't disabled, @PANDAQUEEN, or you don't want to find a job, maybe this info will help someone else.