Advice of what to do is great, but there is advice for what NOT to do. DO NOT trust one person to plan and initiate everything. DO have someone oversee EVERYTHING then assign one person to oversee the ceremony and another the reception.
With my older daughter's wedding that she and her future husband wanted to handle themselves, they did not assign anyone up to make sure the church was decorated, open, or there was music. The marriage has been as disastrous as the wedding was.

So we have a for sure date now; October 19, 2017, colors; antique white, purple, silver, and black accent. venue; Wallace Falls, attire, and food (my fiance is catering and an amazing cook).
I am so lost with everything else...
Also what do you do when your family are the embodiment of messed up?
How do you deal with not having a mom during this type of event and his mom isn't worth a damn in the motherly type.
Not to mention other than my fiance and one of my bridesmaids I have absolutely no help....its all so depressing and aggravating...

You have plenty of time. It took me about a year to organise my wedding (I'm divorced). I did it all myself, I had a 'wedding book' where I wrote everything down, including each company's name, address, phone number etc.

I just tackled one thing at a time. You can write a list of each task, and prioritise according to what needs to be booked first. If you have sorted the venue for day and night, then you should probably be booking transport and the photographer next. Is your fiance making the cake? You would be surprised how much notice you need to give the cake makers.

If your outfits are all arranged you can consider the accessories too, I sent my bridesmaids shoes away to be dyed, so there are things like that. You could order/print out your wedding stationery, you don't need to send them yet, but ordering it can take a while, unless you have a friend making it for you. Maybe consider starting to buy some of the stamps now, to spread the cost when you have to post everything at once.

I tried to pay for most things as I went along, to spread the cost a bit.

Don't worry about your family. It's your day, not theirs, and there isn't a lot you can do to control their behaviour anyway, if they want to act badly, they will, but it will only make them look bad if they ruin your special day. I was very worried about certain members of my ex-husband's family, who were threatening all sorts, but on the day they ended up behaving themselves. Your friends and other family members will be looking out for you anyway, they don't want to see your day spoilt.

You don't need help from your mother to plan a wedding. Most of the time if you tell the people whose business you would like to use (photographer, cake maker etc.) that you are getting married, and you are unsure what to do, they will be very helpful, they know that most people have never done it before. Even if you are on a budget, and don't want to actually use their products, you could probably get away with asking them for advice, if you gave the impression that you were considering them as an option.

Hope some of that is helpful!

This actually made a lot of sense it's just been extremely helpful and I am starting to feel more depressed about my wedding than excited that and money is an issue because most of my income goes to bills and my fiance is having a hell of a time getting a job...But thank you!

Aah you're welcome, glad it was helpful!

First of all : congrats!!

The amount of work depends a lot on the kind of wedding you decide to do. Just have this in mind: is YOUR wedding; not your parents wedding, not your friends wedding.
Is something you both decided happily and should be focuss on you both. Why do I say that? Because the most important point in a wedding is not the food, not the music... is the coupple and maybe the ceremony.
Dunno how it works for you, but despite u choose religious or burocracy wedding in the end all gets reduced to "congrats, you signed all the needed papers, so from now on for the law you are officially a coupple". So the rest of the issues are not a duty.
Now, if you are excited about celebrating in the most usual way of course you need a plan, BUT be realistic: a wedding is suposed to become in happy memories, so don't stress yourself and don't try to do more than you really can manage.
There is nothing I can add that other modthesimmers didn't wisely told you: think in who do you want to invite, and then in where are you gonna reunite them, and how are they gonna arrive to that place.

In my case, we did a very private and close burocracy ceremony wiht family and some friends. Later we had refreshment and dinnner on my parents nice gardened house and it all looked like a funny and fantastic picnic: everyone brought some nice homemade food as wedding present (we told them we were not accepting money aids or the most typical wedding presents because neither of our families was healthy financial stability in that years).

So don't get obssesed with the perfect wedding: just make it your day at your own style.