Internet Restrictions

[ChappyTamTam]

Hello :)

Today I'd like to hear your views and opinions on Internet restrictions for children.

I'm allowed to explore the Internet freely, but I can't give out personal info (except Facebook but all my settings are on "Friends Only" and my "Friends" are people I know and trust) and my mom will go through my History if she needs to.

Well today I learned that my neighbor has a serious restriction on Internet use. She can only go to Web sites that her parents have allowed, if she tries to go to another Web site she can't because it says it's blocked.

I'm not a parent, but if I was, I'd let my kids use the Internet freely, but I'd tell them not to give out any information that could hurt us. I'd go through their History but only if I think it's absolutely nessecary. Also I've heard the idea of a shared family password that I think is a good idea - whenever they sign-up for accounts, they have to tell the parent, and the parent gives them a password that they use for everything. The parent won't go through their stuff, but if it's an emergency, like if a kid disappeared, they'd want to check their e-mails and chats and stuff and see if they can find anything that might have caused the emergency.

So, what do you think?

[dutch]

I think it's about the information kids takes in, more than what they give. No restriction is definite on the Internet, and sooner or later even the least technologically savvy person will learn of a way to overcome these restrictions, simply because there are too many ways available. However, for young kids whose drive to look for those ways isn't that intense, restricting them will allow parents to keep certain info that's deemed harmful from them, until they reach an appropriate age and breach those restrictions themselves anyway. And I'm not planning to further discuss whether what adults deem to be harmful is actually harmful. That's another topic, and a huge one too.

[paksetti]

Ah, man. I remember the first time I saw a penis; I was terrified. I thought it looked like an alien or something...

good times. goood times.

You see, my parents never blocked any sites from me or checked my history, probably because they didn't know how to. I did, however, get the whole "personal information" speech, even though facebook wasn't even a thing when I started using the interwabz. Even if they had blocked such content from me, I was bound to see one soon enough anyway.

That's not to say I think children should be able to do whatever they want, in fact, I'm all for restricting content, and timing younger children. As they get older, of course, they'd have more freedom.

[Mistermook]

I am a parent. I absolutely used to monitor my daughter's usage of the internet and only allow her to go certain places.

On the other hand, a lot of those places were places where her mother and I had strong disagreements about the propriety. I'm pretty sure my daughter learned how to type in chat rooms, which I didn't have a huge problem with because I'd done my homework and been in those chat rooms quite a bit, and not being terrified of them as Chris Hanson venues or something I pretty much threw her into 'em and hoped she'd force herself to touch type just to keep up. And it worked.

On the other hand, children grow up. There's no one size fits all rules for kids of all ages or even every kid, because, for instance, trying to prevent me from going someplace was as good as telling me I had to go there, while I know some of my nieces are going to do absolutely what they're told and another probably will be the first kid in elementary school to find a way to get a tattoo. The number one rules for good parenting, not that I claim to be some sort of expert, is to listen to your kids, talk to your kids, and keep them from killing themselves and others until they're old enough do it from their own apartment. Sometimes that might mean keeping them from the frighteningly diverse crap on the internet before you've managed to stamp them with all of your own weird shit, and sometimes it's all about letting them walk into dark alleys all alone and get mugged, proverbial-like.

[SuicidiaParasidia]

I think it's about the information kids takes in, more than what they give. No restriction is definite on the Internet, and sooner or later even the least technologically savvy person will learn of a way to overcome these restrictions, simply because there are too many ways available. However, for young kids whose drive to look for those ways isn't that intense, restricting them will allow parents to keep certain info that's deemed harmful from them, until they reach an appropriate age and breach those restrictions themselves anyway. And I'm not planning to further discuss whether what adults deem to be harmful is actually harmful. That's another topic, and a huge one too.

my family pretty much went by the general rule of "no giving out personal info", and we turned out fine. in fact id have to say the most scarring ive endured has occurred in my later years, when i thought the internet would cease to surprise me.... silly, silly me.

over-protection is a huge problem in our society. too much protection can make for soft, unprepared children. its better to teach them how to deal with the things theyll encounter than to keep them from encountering them (which you already said was futile anyway). age itself doesnt make for any preparedness, only alongside maturity and education (not necessarily obtained at school, either) does age really make a difference in the reaction between a child and an adult. in short, an adult who is never guided into the process of handling tough things either never gains the ability to handle them appropriately or has a hell of a time struggling to do so.

[ElementMK]

Ah, man. I remember the first time I saw a penis; I was terrified. I thought it looked like an alien or something...I've been thinking the same thing MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I AM A DUDE.

[SimsLover50]

I grew up when there was no internet. I would certainly not yet a young child use the interenet unsupervised. When a person becomes a teen, though, I was sneaking into rate R movies and reading adult literature, I'd probably chat with them about responsible computing etc. But, I think restricting a teens access would be impossible. Especailly when the libraries have unrestricted access to the net.

I'd limit the amount of computer use on weeknight unless it was homework related. And I'd likely be one of those uncool parents who'd suggest my child read a book!

[girlgeek19]

I didn't have restrictions other than the "don't give out personal information" speech. Depends on the kid, I suppose. I agree with suicidia...kids are way too sheltered these days. Sooner or later the real world bites them on the arse and they don't know how to handle it. ::shrugs:: I'm not a parent though...I might feel different if I was.

[rcranger9]

I was allowed to go freely on the internet without people monitoring me and that was good for the most part. It was also bad when I was 10 and accidentally stumbled onto a porn site. I'm still trying to scrape the horrifying video from the back of my eyelids.


I think that they should be allowed to go freely, but have bad/illegal sites (like porn) blocked off for there safety. You don't want the police knocking on your door to arrest you for allowing your children to watch porn. :p

[ChloroformDreams]

I agree with those who have said there's no "one-size-fits-all" rule for this.

Not being a parent, I can't say how my attitude will change later in life but, for right now, I'm a strong proponent of personal freedom. Yes, kids need to be monitored. Yes, kids need restrictions. But, they also need their privacy. Trust is a two-way street, and if parents never allow their children the opportunity to earn their trust, then they never will. By monitoring everything with or without their children's knowledge, this is exactly what will, or should I say, won't happen. Show someone zero trust and, eventually, they're likely to behave the way you expect them to.

I don't believe kids should have free reign, just that they shouldn't feel like they aren't getting any privacy or freedom. In my opinion, a good compromise is to have the computer in a "higher-traffic" area of the house, rather than the child's bedroom. This allows parents to keep an eye out without actively invading the privacy of their children, and I have a feeling it would also decrease the amount of undesirable internet activities on the part of the child. And to clarify, I'm talking about younger children here, not teens.

[DigitalSympathies]

I think it depends on the child's maturity level. Say, my brother, who's still in primary school, is not be allowed to use a site that's more mature (teen and up) and gets in trouble for repeating the things he saw or read on these sites. When I was at that age, I generally stuck around Neopets and the like, so my parents didn't set any restrictions. I think it has to do with how well the kid knows right from wrong so you don't catch your 9-year-old looking up porn. If you have a concern, sure, block off a couple of sites, but from around 13 and up it shouldn't be the parent's issue as long as they're not looking up porn or cyberbullying someone. My parents stopped watching me when I was about 10 or so.

[Robodl95]

Well.. my friend who happens to be a girl has extreme internet restrictions. Everything is blocked except for research sites for school. Note that they also aren't allowed to watch movies above a PG 13 rating, own video games or have cable television. Her parents are conservative freaks (it doesn't have to do with the fact that she's Mormon, I know other Mormon people who are allowed to do what everyone else does) She's very responsible, Me and her both agree that it's insane.

Still though... I think that internet blockages should be in line with the rest of your parenting. Like if you don't let your kid buy violent video games then block violent stuff on the computer.

[daluved1]

I think internet should be restricted in moderation. Meaning what I let a 10 year old do on a computer is completely different than what a 16 year old is allowed to do. For young children that aren't quite ready for the "real world", their access to certain sites and such should be monitored. But teenagers and young adults? IMO, who cares? Whatever they don't pick up on the internet, they'll pick up from their peers. And, the way I see it, the internet is a perfect tool for getting those "just curious" urges out of the way. You want to know what a penis looks like? Google it. Want to know what a Jaggerbomb is? Bing it! I just think that allowing the child (of appropriate age) to explore the world from a safe distance has a much better outcome than sheltering them from it.

However, I am speaking from someone who has relatively grown up in the digital age. If you think about it, the internet, as we are most familiar with, is a fairly new invention, it's only been around a decade or so. Those who grew up with it see it as a magical window of sorts. But, those who come from a time before household PCs - the parents - were probably a little frightened at first at what the internet has brought us. So it's understandable their cause for concern. I think as the years progress, you'll see less and less parents restricting internet to the same extreme.

[vhanster]

Hmm... my school's wi-fi blocks all online game servers so that students can't download and play MMO games, but other than that, there's no restriction. Though to be honest, it doesn't really discourage the students to simply bring their own broadband and play games at school.

[Robodl95]

Hmm... my school's wi-fi blocks all online game servers so that students can't download and play MMO games, but other than that, there's no restriction. Though to be honest, it doesn't really discourage the students to simply bring their own broadband and play games at school.
Your school just blocks game servers? We can't access youtube, facebook, any blog site, etc. on our school servers, which I think is good though because school computers are meant to be for research. I think restrictions at work are good too because you're supposed to be working, not browsing the internet for unrelated things.

[MizzesSimmer]

My kids are ages 4 to 10 and I let them do whatever they want. Of course I have certain ratings, words and other things blocked, but they would never know it. Anything sexual in nature is off limits and blocked. My kids are not allowed to learn about the opposite sex until they are 35. (Kidding ofcourse...maybe:P).

If they download something bad, its up to them to fix it and if they cant then I can. I don't monitor what they do for the most part. I trust them. The computer and internet should be a learning tool as well as a toy. I want them to be able to learn, fix , create, use and perhaps destroy it themselves. I think my 4 year old is the only one on the block who can install game demos, know not to install any of those crap toolbars that come with them, and restrict its access to the net, cause "mommy does like it doing that".

Ofcourse when they are online, I am always around. The computers arent in any private room. The internet is like our 4th child. I think, that without the free range Ive allowed them with the internet, they wouldnt be as ahead of the curve as they are.

So if tl;dr , moderation and what works best for your family, and thinking of what is fair for the child without taking away all the fun.

[Willow's Tara]

Hm I started using the Internet about uh 11, 12 (I think my oldest Neopets account could tell you, but far back as December 2000 or January 2001 the oldest I don't think even exists anymore), I don't think we even had a computer until I was like 9 or 10, one of those really old ones. Back then I was only allowed on it two hours at a time, and since it was down near my sister's room, and she's my twin I had to share with her (I had to share the internet until 2009 though >.>).

And like Digital I stayed on sites like Neopets, I don't ever remember going to a bad site or a chatroom, I did have MSN at the time as well. I didn't really have that much restrictions either, only don't give out personal information and such (And to this day is still in my head. Facebook is Friends only and most people on it are people I met in real life and talked to for a bit). I was a bit more into Neopets then any other sites back then, so nobody really had much to worry about.

I think though it depends on the person themselves and their maturity as well.

[DigitalSympathies]

^ Yeah, like for me I got MSN when I was in grade three, and it was all the rage - the kids on my street used Paint between our computers to make comics and pictures and videos to share back and forth, as well as learning to make new emoticons. My parents told me about how chatrooms had people who were just out to hurt others on it, so I stayed away from them because I had no interest getting bashed upon.

I had a facebook for about a year last year and then found no reason to use it. I mainly stick around this forum only, as well as my private Skype (no more MSN, too glitchy nowadays) for my friends and I to chat. I didn't have any restrictions because I was taught in school and by my parents, and by myself, about how even one click can screw up your computer. Viruses made people paranoid back in the early 2000's and I quickly learned to stay AWAY from any "non-cool" sites that my friends weren't on.

I remember the Nexopia incident in my school when one girl started to use it and one guy kept on sexually messaging her. We were really young, too, so it scared my posse into just sticking around Neopets and Millsbury for a LONG time.

[Fuzzlechan]

I've been on the computer since I was about... two. xD For the most part, internet restrictions are stupid. Mind you, I'm not a parent, so...

If the kid's younger than ten, yeah, limit their internet. Keep the computer in a public area, put some parental restrictions on. A kid that young shouldn't be exposed to the horrors of some sites. Such as, oh, I dunno, 4chan. Once they hit ten, though, remove most of the restrictions. My dad had a program that recorded my history and everything I typed. He didn't look at the weekly reports, but he could have if he thought there was a problem. He found it when I was eleven, and kept it until I turned 14.

Once they're fourteen or fifteen, just get rid of the restrictions. Let them have a computer in their room. They're old enough to know right from wrong, and know what'll get them in trouble.

[seraphime]

I didnt get the internet until I was maybe a freshmen or sophomore in highschool.. I KNOW IM SOOO OLD!.. not really but ok back to my point.

I do think that children should be monitored on the internet. I don't have children but I feel that it also depends on the child. I know when I was 9 or 10 heck even 13 I probably couldn't have handled 90% of the crap on the internet. But I agree with several other people that have posted. No computer in their room till they are 15 or so, computer time limited and sites blocked. I am a strong supported of "net nannies" or keystroke/history keepers, even when the child is well into their teens. Not to spy on your child but to be safe, even as an adult I've had a scarey thing or two happen to me on the net. And now with facebook/myspace/twitter basically all of this social media and "connecting" to strangers you have to be more and more careful.

[TRIriana]

You can monitor your kids internet usage without using keyloggers and spyware, if you're that obsessed with possibility of them coming across bad people. You can check internet history, and keep the computer in a family room. I completely disagree with monitoring olders teenagers though; at a certain point you have to trust that your teenager is smart enough to get by in the real world on their own. If you can't trust them on the internet, then you certainly can't trust them going outside. You connect with strangers outside everyday; assuming that there are more pedophiles for example, on the Internet is paranoid.

The internet, where men are pedophiles, women are men and children are FBI agents.

[vhanster]

Your school just blocks game servers? We can't access youtube, facebook, any blog site, etc. on our school servers, which I think is good though because school computers are meant to be for research. I think restrictions at work are good too because you're supposed to be working, not browsing the internet for unrelated things.

Well, in my school/campus computers, you can't access anything else other than the school website (not even the offline app). I mean, the campus have its own wireless network for the students to use (on their own laptops), but you can't access MMO games with that.